Knuckle Puck: Time to Gear Up for St. Patty's Day!

Each and every weekend this season I'll be taking a look at the random happenings and absurdities that occur in the world of hockey. Feel free to suggest stories, complain or otherwise babble at me via electronic mail.

It's February 7th, Valentine's Day is next week and what does NHL.com want us all to do? Why, get ready for St. Patrick's Day of course! Under the live scores and above the Sid vs. AO hoopla on the NHL.com homepage, a banner declares that "2010 St. Patrick's Day Gear Now Available!" Gotta love the random corporate branding of a random holiday in March. And hey, we all know nothing else says 'hockey' like celebrating an Irish holiday that has nothing to do with hockey and whose main premise is inspiring everyone to get drunk on a Wednesday night by buying green hockey apparel.

Wait... No it doesn't.

So, not only does St. Patty's hockey apparel not make a lot of sense, but there are only three NHL games taking place on the holiday itself. If you happen to be one of the fans excited to buy a green Henrik Zetterberg t-shirt and wear it to a Wings game on March 17th, you're out of luck because there is no Wings game on March 17th! You can still buy your green hockey apparel that will only be relevant for a few days out of the year, but unless you're a fan in Colorado, New Jersey or Anaheim you won't be able to wear it in the arena of your favorite team. But look on the bright side -- there aren't many bars outside of a hockey arena that charge $8 for a domestic light beer. So that's something.

But an even better buy than the Zetterberg shirt -- a green shirt celebrating an Irish holiday for a team that wears red and white and bears the name of a player that is Swedish born who plays a game created in Canada -- is probably this "NHL 2010 St. Patrick's Philadelphia Flyers Cork Long Sleeve T-shirt" that brings a new level of douchiness to the game. A level that we've only seen previously from the cast of Jersey Shore. If you're looking to make a name for yourself on a night out by combining the arrogance of Jersey Shore, stigma of Affliction t-shirts and general weirdness of a green and black Flyers shirt, well, the NHL has an answer for you! Although, their description of the product slightly differs from mine:

You may be your team's lucky charm when you wear the NHL® 2010 St. Patrick's Cork long-sleeve t-shirt. An NHL®Shop Exclusive, it's decorated with hip, distressed graphics featuring the team name, logo and a festive shamrock on the front; team graphics are also displayed on the left sleeve.

We may be our team's lucky charm?! Oh man, that would be a possibility if it weren't totally corny and the Flyers weren't on a four game road trip from March 14th through the 20th, stopping us from actually wearing it at a game. Well, maybe the luck goes through my TV. Is that how this works?

And if you had any doubt as to how accurate my description of the product was, I think the phrase "decorated with hip, distressed graphics" is a shorter, more politically correct way of saying "if you wear this you belong on a mind-numbing MTV dating show". Anyone want to try out to be on the NEXT bus?

YouTube of the Week

This really needs no introduction, but I'll do it anyway. This is Alex Ovechkin's 500th NHL point and he scored it in a way only he could. One handed with a defender draped all over him. Take a minute and bask in the awesomeness.



Knuckle Pucker of the Year Nominee

Each week, we'll nominate someone who deserves to be recognized for their outstanding service and commitment to giving me something to write about. By the end of the year I'll come up with some way to declare a winner. This week's nominee is...

... Olli Jokinen speaking his mind! If only we could have more of this, more often. Who knows what fun we could have? This week, he weighs in on Dion Phaneuf's exit from Calgary.

"The biggest thing is, (Phaneuf) wasn't accepted by the Calgary fans, even though he was once a Norris Trophy candidate," Jokinen said.

Let that be a lesson kids, if you're an underperforming headcase of a center or defenseman, fans may not be totally excited about your underperformingness. Another lessons kids, 'underperformingness' is not a word.