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Is LeBron James anti-water fountain? It would be a weird thing to be against, but people have all sorts of odd bugaboos. Perhaps James had a traumatic experience as a tot and has always harbored a grudge against them or perhaps he's just opposed to the metallic taste that water from fountains sometimes has. It's the kind of question that can keep a man up at night.
We are stuck wondering about this because of the news that the Cavaliers have removed all the water fountains from their home arena. With LeBron heading toward free agency, it's hard not to look at any decision like this through the prism of keeping him on the Cavs for the long term. After all, the team couldn't be callous enough to do this just so they could sell more concessions, right?
They say that's not the case, pointing out that fans can still get a free cup of water at any of the arena's concession stands. The reason for the ban on the fountains, according to the Cavaliers, is that they are interested in cutting down on the spread of the H1N1 virus. That sounds pretty reasonable, what with all the fears of the virus crushing this country the way that Avatar has crushed its box office competition.
It sounds a lot less reasonable, however, when you hear that the director of Cleveland's health department says that there's no indication that water fountains contribute to the spread of the dreaded swine flu. Safety first and all that, but we tend to take the advice of health professionals over basketball teams when it comes to avoiding illness. And, as with any decision by a revenue-generating concern, we tend to look for another explanation.
While the water at the stands is free, getting you to stand on line and engage in a transaction in order to get a cup is going to make you a lot more likely to wind up buying something. It's the same theory that places all sorts of eye-catching stuff near the registers of supermarkets, drug stores and whatnot. You're there anyway, it'll save making another trip and, hey, I could use a plate of nachos right about now.
It pains to be so cynical, though, so we'll just assume that the King has an aversion to water fountains that he wants kept under wraps.
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