In case you were wondering where The Dugout has been, you should know that I chose last week ... yes, last week ... to move to the D.C. Metro area. So not only am I never going to get to see Tai Shan the toddler panda, but I was treated to a blanket of over three feet of snow and was without power for most of it. There's another "blizzard condition" going on outside my window as I type this, so you might not get to read this either.

But hey! It's time to look on the bright side. Snow is beautiful, the bigger, less interesting panda bears are still at the National Zoo, and I've got a new hometown team! Let's see who they are! /looks up "Washington Nationals" on Wikipedia

Wait, there's a team in Major League Baseball WORSE than the Cleveland Indians? Oh son of a...

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the Washington Nationals Chatroom!
	RiggleMeThisBatman: What's going on? Are we online? I can't see anything.
	CaptainLuAtilano: we don have any power!!
	WetHotAmericanZimmer: We don't have power? When did we become the Cleveland Indians? Why don't we have any power?
	RiggleMeThisBatman: it's this snow storm, it keeps knocking out our power... I've been wandering around Nationals Park for days, I have no idea where I am
	ChurchRugsOnJesusFlores: what are they calling it now
	WetHotAmericanZimmer: first they were calling it "Snowmageddon," then it started getting funny so they called it "Snowgasm," and then it kept getting worse and became "Snowpocalypse," then "Snowlocaust," then "The Biblical Rapture Performed With Snows"
	CaptainLuAtilano: i still calling it "snowman f**ks you"
	RiggleMeThisBatman: jesus christ i just fell down a flight of steps, whose bright idea was it for us to live in the baseball stadium during the offseason
	ChurchRugsOnJesusFlores: I try to get out, no good, gotta get to 7-11 for pepsi and kettle chips or i will revert back to subhuman man in this little house on prairie deathrap
	RiggleMeThisBatman: you can't get out? I thought we paid somebody to dig us out!
	WetHotAmericanZimmer: we did, Ted Lerner gave Strasburg 14 million dollars to shovel our driveway
	StrasburgerSyndrome: don't blame me, I told him I'd never shoveled a REAL driveway before!
	WetHotAmericanZimmer: when this Hurt Locker looking motherf**ker was finished we had more snow on our driveway than before
	RiggleMeThisBatman: f**k me
	StrasburgerSyndrome: What! The shovel I usually use is thinner and made out of aluminum, it's completely different
	RiggleMeThisBatman: no, I meant "f**k me I just fell down an elevator shaft," somebody turn on the goddamned lights
	CaptainLuAtilano: can't, power company no comin out until necks thursday, automated message assure me my patience is appreciated
	WetHotAmericanZimmer: well that is pretty nice of them to appreciate how patient we're being
	CaptainLuAtilano: i know, i glad i chose this power company
	RiggleMeThisBatman: How are we in a chatroom if we don't have any power?
	ChurchRugsOnJesusFlores: don't ask me, you're the one who could type falling down an elevator shaft
	Online Host Suddenly, there is light in the Washington Nationals Chatroom!
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: /lights crack pipe
	WetHotAmericanZimmer: wait wait wait, that's perfect, we have lights! Keep doing that!
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: lol what you specktin me ta stop
	RiggleMeThisBatman: Okay, you haven't played for us since 2008, what are you STILL doing in our chatroom?
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: caint get out, snowstorm too big, drivin now would be perilous to ma health ya feel me /eats a family sized bag of Marshmallow Bananas, has diabetes
	ChurchRugsOnJesusFlores: don't be mad at him, coach, god knows who else is in this chatroom
	CaptainLuAtilano: ha ha seriouly i talk to a russian gentalman all day yesterday instead of cooking or washing laundry or being heated
	OvieTrice: Ты говоришь по-русски?
	CaptainLuAtilano: i don speak any russian but i thin he want to know about teddy president
	RiggleMeThisBatman: Tell him that Teddy Roosevelt was killed by an instantaneous embankment of snow in the passing lane and is buried under eight feet of plow snow on South Capitol street
	CaptainLuAtilano: sorry man, teddy dead
	OvieTrice: Прости
	WetHotAmericanZimmer: it could be worse, we could be stuck with the Washington Wizards and be shot to death for trying to have fun in the Verizon Center
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: sheeeit, that trash so vilent i wouldnt even go IN the gilbert arena
	RiggleMeThisBatman: Seriously, I appreciate all the Fun Dip you've given us over the past three years but we can't keep featuring you in our Nationals Chatrooms
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: what i memba when this chat room neva went more than three days widout updatin, now y'all only update like one time erry two weeks
	RiggleMeThisBatman: It doesn't matter, we have to feature up and coming new talent like Steve Strasburg... wait, has anybody seen Strasburg? Where is he?
	WetHotAmericanZimmer: /shrug
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: whateva imma sled abe lincolns dead body to freedom, peace out, keep it nappy or braided up
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: /extinguishes flame
	Online Host The Washington Nationals Chatroom has gone completely dark again.
	WetHotAmericanZimmer: Well, there goes the only light we had, anybody wanna play Darkness Jenga?
	CaptainLuAtilano: /stares blankly into darkness for several days
	RiggleMeThisBatman: I'm still worried about Stephen. Anybody have any idea where he went?
	ChurchRugsOnJesusFlores: i saw him coach, he fell down that elevator shaft, i think he died
	RiggleMeThisBatman: Great, now what are we supposed to do?
	ChurchRugsOnJesusFlores: i threw 30 million dollars down the shaft behind him, i think we're covered