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Each and every weekend this season I'll be taking a look at the random happenings and absurdities that occur in the world of hockey. Feel free to suggest stories, complain or otherwise babble at me via electronic mail.This has probably been the most exciting Olympics we've seen for ice hockey, at least in the era where NHL players have been allowed to play.
We've had it all; a spunky Swiss team giving their opponents fits, two blowouts for the ages (Canada/Russia and Finland/USA), and a commentator stealing the spotlight. Now we've got two great teams -- no doubt the two best in the tournament -- going head to head this afternoon for the gold medal. As a helpful service to readers, I've put together a handy guide of five bold predictions for what could be one of the most memorable gold medal games ever.
Remember to take the traditional grain of salt with these.
Prediction #5: The Fake Ryan Miller starts in goal for Team USA and no one notices. Somewhere in the bowels of Canada Hockey Place an impersonator has locked the real Ryan Miller in a broom closet. The impersonator, after giving an interview on MSNBC earlier this week, comes out in Miller's equipment and plays the entire game before anyone notices. He leads Team USA to a goal medal with a stellar performance of 37 saves. Afterward, USA coach Ron Wilson apologies for the error and the Pittsburgh Penguins sign Fake Ryan Miller to backup Marc-Andre Fleury.
Prediction #4: America finally gets to see the fight it wants to see. There may not be any fights on the ice at the Olympics, but that doesn't mean there can't be any off the ice. Finally, after two long, arduous weeks Mike Milbury and Jeremy Roenick fight in the broadcast booth. The straw that breaks the camel's back is when NBC rolls this footage of Roenick dancing on ice and Milbury responds by saying Roenick would make a 'cute figure skating girl'.
Prediction #3: Third period is inexplicably shown on tape delay. After airing the first two periods live across the country, NBC decides to hold off on showing the third period until 9 PM ET in a move that is either a ploy to grab lucrative Sunday night ratings or a force of habit. Whatever the motive, the plan backfires badly and angry viewers storm NBC Studios in Manhattan.
Prediction #2: Chris Pronger throws a dirty elbow on the entire Team USA. After playing a clean game for two weeks at the Olympics, Chris Pronger is getting tired of it. Late in the second period Pronger lays out all of Team USA with an elbow to the head. He then accidentally clocks the referees as well. In true WWE style, he puts the puck in the net for the game winning goal while everyone is knocked out, and then drags the semi-conscious referee over to the net. The referee signals a goal and Canada wins gold.
Prediction #1: We have a memorable gold medal game that will be talked about for years to come. Hopefully, this one turns out to be true.
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