Why the Internet Deserves the Nobel Peace Prize

(March 12) -- The short list of nominees for this year's Nobel Peace Prize includes an unexpected contender: the Internet.

This is the result of a campaign launched by the Italian edition of Wired magazine. "The Internet can be considered the first weapon of mass construction, which we can deploy to destroy hate and conflict and to propagate peace and democracy," explained Wired Italy Editor-in-Chief Riccardo Luna.

The news has ignited an online debate over whether the medium you're using now deserves such an honor, especially after last year's fuss over President Barack Obama getting the prize. (Please hold all jokes about nominating Obama's TelePrompTer this year.) But look at all the Web has given you just this week and the case becomes clear. What else besides the Internet offers so much to keep you peacefully occupied for hour after hour? Who wants to go out and start a war when you can sit in front of your computer and, for example, wallow in every detail of the Eric Massa scandal? Just don't tell Rep. Patrick Kennedy.

Let's review some of this week's news highlights -- all available to you through the miracle of the soon-to-be Nobel laureate Internet.

Quote of the Week No. 1
"Now they're saying I groped a male staffer. Yeah, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn't breathe, and then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday." -- Ex-Rep. Eric Massa, D-N.Y., in a much-hyped interview with Glenn Beck on his Fox News show -- now sponsored by something like Jack's magic beans.

Quote of the Week No. 2
"America, I'm gonna shoot straight with you. I think I've wasted your time. I have wasted an hour of your time. And I apologize for that." -- Beck, concluding his much-hyped interview with Massa.

Quote of the Week No. 3
"It's been a long time since I watched cartoons with my kids, but I recall Scooby Doo as a pretty good character. He solved mysteries and caught the bad guys, pretty impressive -- especially for a dog." -- Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid, commenting on a Republican fundraising presentation that likened him to the cartoon pooch.

Quote of the Week No. 4
"She wasn't no rocket scientist." -- Kurt Gorman, describing ex-girlfriend Colleen LaRose, aka "JihadJane," alleged online terrorist recruiter.

The same might be said for Megan Mariah Barnes, who made news this week because Florida police reported she crashed her car while shaving her bikini area on the way to Key West.

What is it about Florida and personal grooming issues?

"It has come out in news accounts he had a Republican Party of Florida credit card that he charged $130 haircut, or maybe it was a back wax -- we're not sure what he got at that place," Florida Gov. Charlie Crist claimed about Marco Rubio, his opponent in the GOP Senate primary. Rubio denied getting his back waxed.

The Internet also delivers counterintuitive medical research. This week's studies told us that people who smoke cigarettes for decades have a greatly reduced risk of Parkinson's disease and drinking alcohol can help keep women from gaining weight.

Which brings us to the news from overseas. There are new street signs in Romania that warn drivers to watch out for drunken pedestrians lying in the road.

Finally, there is the headline of the week -- and perhaps the whole year so far -- spotted on Michael Musto's Village Voice blog, La Daily Musto. Go ahead, just try to resist clicking on: Gay Catholic Ex-Stripper Awaits Birth of Twins Carried by Husband's Sister.

All this vital information -- and so much more -- is piped directly to you every day through this wondrous, peace-inducing series of tubes. Who among us would want to live without the Internet?

The whole world is watching, Norwegian Nobel Committee. This year, your choice is obvious.