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Not much in life can be accomplished in five minutes, phone sexting being one such exception. Certainly, it isn't enough time for the world's most prominent athlete when he's attempting to explain why he cheated on his wife and slept with half the free world, all while fraudulently promoting a family-man image for megabucks.Which is why Tiger Woods' two TV interviews Sunday night, each a mere 300 seconds in length by his decree, pretty much left him sunk in the same deep bunker. When he has spent the last four months in a scandal of epic proportion, when he has been a significant part of the global consciousness for a decade and a half, Woods can't grant his first interviews since his life unraveled without being expansive and willing to answer every question. But that's exactly what the harsh ground rules were as he specified them, and when his mini-interviews were finished with ESPN's Tom Rinaldi and the Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman, it was clear he'd only leaked snippets of his truest thoughts instead of the elaborate answers his sins demand.
The last thing we want from Woods is more control, more calculation, more spin. Even when he's trying to be remorseful, salvage his marriage and resume some sort of normalcy, he comes off as a plastic man who's trying to outsmart us. Really now, what more did he say this time that he hadn't said already in his no-questions apology last month? I feel like we're part of a plotted 12-step program toward regaining the public trust, an incremental taffy pull that has no chance of succeeding if he doesn't start opening up and sitting down for long periods of time with interviewers. In one breath, he admits to concern about how the public will receive him at the Masters, saying, "I don't know. I don't know. I'm a little nervous about that to be honest with you. It would be nice to hear a couple claps here and there. But also hope they clap for birdies, too." And yet, he can't be more forthcoming for the very fans whose favor and applause he seeks.
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