The Dugout's 2010 Spring Training event finally moves into the American League tonight, and what better way to start than in the AL West. The West has been absolutely out of control this offseason. The Mariners decided to man up and have a team, the Rangers have been partying in the bathroom of the Viper Room with Lindsay Lohan, the Athletics are making major motion pictures, and the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim have introduced us to a wonderful new Dugout character: crazy conspiracy theorist slash hyper-prejudiced Torii Hunter.

You've got to love a guy who thinks SkyNet is somehow the reason why he didn't get a 100 on his science test. Tonight's Dugout is after the jump. Warning: it is an imposter.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Angel Stadium of Anaheim of 2000 E Gene Autry Way Anaheim California 92806 2010 Spring Training Chatroom!
	Tori_Misspelling: whatever you want from me, make it quick, I need to ride my enormous black stallion into the players association meeting
	GreasersAndScioscia: oh it's nothing, I was just reading about you online and wanted to ask you a couple of questions
	GreasersAndScioscia: um, do you remember Vladimir Guerrero
	Tori_Misspelling: barely
	GreasersAndScioscia: What color was he? Was he a black player?
	Tori_Misspelling: come on, he's Dominican, he's not black. Having dreadlocks and being as black as night doesn't make you black, geography does
	GreasersAndScioscia: what race would you say Cory Aldridge is?
	Tori_Misspelling: all other black players are imposters
	GreasersAndScioscia: Imposters?
	Tori_Misspelling: people see dark faces out there and assume they are african american, they aren't us, they're imposters
	Tori_Misspelling: I am the only remaining black man in professional baseball, I am Will Smith and the rest of you people are crazed flesh hungry zombies who want to kill my dog
	GreasersAndScioscia: Elijah Dukes has nothing to do with this
	Tori_Misspelling: did you know Ryan Howard is white, he just rubs Melido Perez on his face before he goes out in public
	ArturosFuentes: What about me, Torii, what is my race?
	Tori_Misspelling: you are trying to sneak being mexican but you is white as bread
	Tori_Misspelling: although if the census has a box you can check next to "looks like the puppet gabbo from the episode of the simpsons" you're that
	ArturosFuentes: i'm a bad widdle boy :(
	Tori_Misspelling: before anybody asks, Tim Salmon was a Eskimo
	CoonChicken: What about me!
	Tori_Misspelling: /squints
	Tori_Misspelling: you know how I said earlier that MLB doesn't want black folks cause they can just go to a dirt country and get a fake black person for 1/10th the price
	CoonChicken: yeah?
	Tori_Misspelling: you are that but the white people version, somebody could sign aubrey huff but they don't want to pay him 40 million or whatever so they go and get you
	Tori_Misspelling: also if you are not allowed to wear your jersey until you change your name
	CoonChicken: aw come on tore
	Tori_Misspelling: my suggestion of advice would be to become a jew like ken griffey jr. and change your named to "cohen"
	AmericanMatsui: what am I
	Tori_Misspelling: one sheep sitting on the shoulders of a second sheep, wrapped in a trench coat made to look like a wolf
	GreasersAndScioscia: oh come on
	Tori_Misspelling: your race is that you are secretly a santa clause
	RallyMonkey: ooh ooh ah ah
	Tori_Misspelling: actually a dog
	GreasersAndScioscia: okay, last question: When did you eat Milton Bradley's heart and absorb his powers?
	Tori_Misspelling: you are as dumb as you are porcelain, milton bradley is still alive
	Tori_Misspelling: it was gary sheffield's