The Dugout's Spring Training sojourn through the AL Central continues with the Tigers, a team that has never ever won the AL Central. They came closest last season -- after blowing their three-game lead over the Twins with four remaining, a tie-breaker was forced. In the top of the 12th, with the bases loaded, Brandon Inge was hit in the shirt by a pitch (ouch, you never want to see that), but the umpire didn't call it that way.

Inge grounded out, and the Twins scored in the bottom of the inning to win the division. As a consolation prize, the Tigers get to spend another eight months doing the exact same thing, only 0.0001% better. The Tigers are a clock that's a minute fast: sure, they'll keep going forever, but it's not like they're going to make themselves right.

Your Detroit Tigers Spring Training Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

	OnlineHost Welcome to Detroit Tigers Chat!
	GotMeOnMyKnees: /takes long drag from cigarette
	GotMeOnMyKnees: We are ruin porn.
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: What does that mean?
	GotMeOnMyKnees: /takes swig of cigarette
	GotMeOnMyKnees: We are ruin porn, just like everything else in this state. The other day some twentysomething hipster told me to stand still, then asked a couple of ten-year-olds to ride their bikes in circles around me. Then he took a bunch of high-contrast black-and-white photos of me and posted them on his blog.
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: well at least I can salvage some degree of comfort in the knowledge that our financial despair is going viral i think i'm going to go stand in front of a shuttered auto plant and reflect upon the practical erosion of the American Dream and the acceptance that we are not exceptional and that this ride has ended someone bring a camera
	GotMeOnMyKnees: /places cigarette between gum and cheek
	GotMeOnMyKnees: Well, anyway, we have a season to play. What'd we do last year? I wasn't really paying attention, but my gut tells me that we went 76-86, Nate Robertson had a 5.60 ERA in 560 innings, and...that's about it, really. I remember playing once when it was sunny outside.
	TheAngryInge: Actually, we barely missed the playoffs because my billowy shirt was hit by a pitch and the umpire missed it.
	GotMeOnMyKnees: /eats cigarette with knife and fork yeah, that sounds about right
	PorcelloMyCountry: so basically, we would have won our first AL Central title in our history if we had worn puffier shirts
	TheAngryInge: yeah, it reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld in which the Tigers are a middling organization that will never go anywhere
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: oh yeah, is that the one where george has relationship problems because we are bad at baseball
	PorcelloMyCountry: i have no idea, i spent the 1990s playing T-ball and wondering why half of the power rangers left to go to college
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: So we're a single borderline call away from going to the playoffs. It stands to reason that if we are, like, 0.1% better, we win the division.
	PorcelloMyCountry: we'd be better if we had less Adam Everett, we could release him
	GotMeOnMyKnees: Can't do that. Our backup shortstop is Brent Dlugach, who is a person I completely made up.
	TheAngryInge: we could ask Adam Everett to chop one of his arms off
	GotMeOnMyKnees: he'd just grow another one
	EverettDayShouldBeSaturday: /suns self on rock /eats cricket
	ADamonApproaches: i could gwow a beawd
	PorcelloMyCountry: I'm afraid we're all going to have to grow beards. We have run out of sharp things in Detroit.
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: /slices grapefruit with wooden board
	ADamonApproaches: sigh i hate detwoit
	PorcelloMyCountry: AHAHAHAHA
	TheAngryInge: DING DING DING DING DING
	ADamonApproaches: huh
	GotMeOnMyKnees: hahaha we just signed you because we wanted to hear you say "detroit" you are hereby released, good luck finding a team that doesn't have an R or L in its name
	ADamonApproaches: but that just weaves the chicago white sox, minnesota twins, and chicago cubs
	PorcelloMyCountry: don't you mean the "chicago right sox"
	ADamonApproaches: :(
	ADamonApproaches: /fishes egg out of pocket, mashes it against face
	OhComeLetUsOrdonez: thanks a lot, that was the only egg in the entire city
	GotMeOnMyKnees: /rubs two cigarettes together, starts fire, lights cigarette