KFC's Double Down Fast Food Gets Fatter

(April 13) -- KFC has launched its latest method of self-inflicted depression with the Double Down -- a "sandwich" of cheese and bacon that substitutes the bun with two deep-fried chicken breasts.

That sound you just heard was America getting even fatter. Between this and the earthquake in Chile a few weeks back, it's amazing the Earth hasn't completely tipped on its axis and sent us hurtling into space.

Mike Heffner, AOL

The sodium-packed, 540-calorie Double Down sandwich is KFC's latest creation.

With this abomination masquerading as food -- like Hardee's Monster Thickburger, and a grande part of the menu at Taco Bell -- it's astounding to me that most people can walk. Although a trip to my local Wal-Mart last week confirmed that this is changing. I saw more fat people in electric carts in one day than I think I saw in my entire childhood.

People, we were meant to eat actual food, not this crap. It might taste good, I know, but it's the same as masturbation -- it feels good, but you can't propagate a society with it.

From Fark: Early reviews of the KFC Double Down reveal that this fat-tastic masterpiece looks about as gross as it sounds (ijustwanttofitin.com)

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And from the See-No-Evil department, it seems that a grand experiment in Christian "morals-first" pharmacies failed quite badly when 90 percent of what people go to a pharmacy for couldn't be found.

Just a note for the holier-than-thou crowd: If morals were all it took to stop bad things from happening, I'm fairly sure Barabbas wouldn't have gone free and Christianity wouldn't exist.

From Fark: What happens when a Christian "morals-first" pharmacy doesn't sell birth control, condoms, porn, tobacco or makeup? Well, it goes out of business, for one thing (washingtonpost.com)

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I've seen it in cartoons and in movies, but never, ever did I think this would actually work in real life.

From Fark: Fugitives on the run try to pull the wool over the eyes of the cops by pulling the wool over their eyes and hiding in sheep costumes (couriermail.com.au)

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And in celebration of tax time, here are some helpful hints on fighting that impending audit you're going to get for forgetting to include that seven bucks you made on eBay selling your son's Spider-Man comics when he got that "'F" in biology. Please note that nowhere among the tips is "Mixed Martial Arts" listed. Bummer.

From Fark: Tips on how to fight an IRS audit. Attempted bribery (especially with pizza) notably absent (online.wsj.com)

EDITOR'S NOTE: Joe Peacock is a staffer at Fark.com, one of the best sources for weird news. The views he expresses are his own and not necessarily those of this news organization.