At least they think they do.
For instance, one Iranian cleric is blaming all the recent earth-shaking activity in Mexico's Baja California, Chile and Haiti on booty-shaking women flaunting their sexuality.
"Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which [consequently] increases earthquakes," Sedighi told Iranian media.
Determining the cause of quakes is a big deal in Iran, one of the most earthquake-prone countries in the world, and Sedighi's anti-hootchy-kootchy decree comes on the heels of a recent prediction by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a huge earthquake was imminent and that many of the 12 million citizens of Tehran should relocate.
But research suggests that earthquake theories are like rear ends -- everyone has one.
For instance, the Rev. Brian Keneipp, executive director of the Aetherius Society of America, a worldwide spiritual organization, claims the recent rash of earthquakes is simply karma for the "cosmic vandalism" done to the moon by NASA's recent LCROSS mission, which was designed to search for water in some deep craters on the moon's southern hemisphere.
Keneipp concedes that earthlings have left lots of space junk on the moon since the first rocket was sent in 1959, but he says most of those crashed at a low angle of impact. On the other hand, he says, LCROSS hit the lunar surface at a very sharp angle, almost as if NASA went out of its way to create the most violent impact possible.
As a result, Keneipp says, we are now getting karmic payback in the form of earthquakes.
"The law of karma is based on this principle: As you sow, so shall you reap. If a civilization does something wrong, then universal law kicks in, and the civilization has to pay for what it's done," Keneipp says.
Granted, he admits that the size of the LCROSS rocket was probably an amoeba compared with the size of the moon, but that's no excuse, since humans have a higher consciousness than amoebas.
"A raised consciousness means a higher responsibility," he says. "The mistake we make is throwing rocks at the moon and assuming it's a lifeless rock that we can do whatever we want to. It's not showing reverence to the moon as a life form."
Keneipp doesn't know how long the earthquakes will continue, but he promises that the moon won't hold a grudge. "Advanced beings are way beyond this eye-for-an-eye thinking," he says.
But are they?
Not according to graphic artist and self-proclaimed pagan Dame Darcy, who says earthquakes represent a symptom of what happens when Mother Nature goes through menopause and has a hot flash.
As a pagan, Darcy worships the Earth goddess. As such, she compares the coral on the bottom of the oceans to menstrual blood.
"Coral is like a lining at the bottom of the ocean, and it's like the lining of blood that feeds a fetus," she explains. "The coral is depleting in a dangerous way -- and it's not a plant, it's a living creature. Take it out of the ocean and it throws everything off balance, and that makes Mother Nature mad, and that's when you get tsunamis and earthquakes."
But while some folks blame earthquakes on trampy women, a miffed man in the moon or a menopause-mad Mother Nature, Alfred Webre, an environmental journalist in Vancouver, British Columbia, created a website that explores what he says is the real, simpler cause of recent earthquakes: the almighty dollar, or, rather, the quest for it.
Webre suggests there is ample evidence that both the U.S. and Russia have developed electromagnetic weapons that can trigger earthquakes. He believes this resulted in the recent quakes in Chile and Haiti.
He speculates that the earthquake was designed to destroy the government and infrastructure so the asset exploitation could commence.
On the other hand, Webre wonders if the Chilean earthquake was designed to put all the governments of South America on notice.
"There are a massive number of petroleum reserves under the Falkland Islands, and a group of South American nations, led by Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez, are trying to get England to give those reserves to Argentina," Webre says.
He thinks the earthquake was a subtle way of letting South Americans know that they should worry about other things besides those oil reserves.
Whether or not Webre's allegations are true, the idea is chilling because, as he points out, "there's no way to tell if an earthquake is caused by nature or machine."