Like so many of us, Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon is a slave to fashion. He wears baseball caps with Kyle Broflovski ear flaps when it gets too cold, he wears eyeglasses that make him look like Lizzie Maguire's mother, and now he's standing up for his right to wear hoodies, approved or not, because he is the voice of our generation and that is what the young people would do. The hoodie caused a light controversy last week, because Maddon never cheated on his wife with a Nazi stripper and we have to publicly call out all of our nation's rich people for something.I hope the hoodie trend continues, not only because I like to wear them, but because the image of Lou Piniella wearing a Cubs hoodie with the little bear ears sewn to the hood is the greatest thing ever.
Today's Dugout follows.
The Dugout
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**Online Host** |
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Maddon2009: yeah hi, I was wondering where I could find the hoodies? |
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Maddon2009: I was in here last year to buy Manic Panic and I remembered you guys sold hoodies. |
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HotTopicEmployee: uhhhhh you mean so this is like, for your great granddaughter or something |
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Maddon2009: Nope! It's for me. I need it for baseball. |
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HotTopicEmployee: base ball /hair flip what is that exaaactly |
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Maddon2009: Baseball. Like the game baseball. Like, the famous game baseball. |
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Maddon2009: a game of ball between two nine-player teams played usually for nine innings on a field, the hitting of a pitched ball with a wooden bat and running of the bases, the winner being the team scoring the most runs |
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HotTopicEmployee: nyeah, okay, lol people still play that, I haven't played that sh** since like, elemennary school |
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Maddon2009: I'm sorry, could you ask whoever is using an industrial bulldozer to destroy a large pile of pianos nearby to keep it down, I can barely hear anything you're saying |
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HotTopicEmployee: do what |
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Maddon2009: the noise |
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Maddon2009: the sound that is happening around us right now, I want to shop but it is crushing my will to live |
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HotTopicEmployee: oh you mean the music, no, that's the in-store music, we're listening to the new mix-LP by "call back your heart is the deadline" |
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Maddon2009: what kind of music do they play exactly? |
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HotTopicEmployee: its like, anti-folk mixed with reggaecore mixed with black metal with influences from shredcore and trip hop, fork called them crisiscore but those guys are pretentious at best |
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Maddon2009: /takes off glasses, cleans them with own shirt |
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SuperFatEmoKid: scuse me you guys have the new limited edition vinyl bullet for my valentine |
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HotTopicEmployee: yeah man it's over there behind the pac-man "pop my cherry" sweatbands |
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SuperFatEmoKid: /shuffles off |
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Maddon2009: that's pretty cool that you sell Pac-Man stuff here! I was really into that game when I was younger. |
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HotTopicEmployee: pac-man is a game? |
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Maddon2009: ... |
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Maddon2009: yeah so if you could just direct me to the hoodies that'd be great, I found the bondage pants and the pencil cases with what looks like a furry turd monster screaming at me on them, and the plastic Hello Kitty cat penises |
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Maddon2009: but besides some plaid lolita dresses and a wall full of Rugrats shirts I couldn't find any clothes |
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HotTopicEmployee: i don't know pops you can check the discounted shirts for something but none of them have baseball on them, they mostly have urkel |
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HotTopicEmployee: why don't you try finish line or champs or something |
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Maddon2009: I did. I stood in the Foot Locker for 20 minutes with nobody helping me. When someone finally noticed me, they wouldn't stop trying to sell me socks |
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Maddon2009: hmmm.... /sifts through non-stop onslaught of Transformers hoodies |
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Maddon2009: the problem is that I don't know which ones would be approved by the commissioner... |
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HotTopicEmployee: does he like the transformers |
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Maddon2009: here's one! "Team Jacob!" Heh, I've got Jake McGee on my 40-man roster! He'll get a kick out of it! |
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HotTopicEmployee: that'll be 119 dollars /scans credit card |
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Maddon2009: /stares down at store copy of receipt for several seconds How am I supposed to fill this out? |
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HotTopicEmployee: you just write your name on the line above where it says "customer signature" |
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Maddon2009: /writes "Andy Sonnanstine" on line |
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