But over the past 48 hours, the New York Post, New York Magazine and the New York Daily News have managed to produce a LeBron-inspired weak sauce open letter, an exhaustive desperate plea and a gratuitous potshot at Cleveland, respectively.
Unlike the New York media, the Scores gentlemen's club in New York (the website's surprisingly safe for work) and general manager Ed Norwick have stepped up and made an offer that might be hard for LeBron refuse. Because free lap dances for life is the gift you get the person who has everything.
"I'm tired of going to Knicks games and ... well, going to Knicks games." Norwick told FanHouse over the phone. "This is serious. He'd have open access to Scores -- I'll even bring him in through a private entrance if he wants."
Norwick confirmed that James would have unlimited access to the ladies of Scores for the rest of his life once a contract with the Knicks was signed, pointing out that the lifetime access " ... might push him over the top ... if it's just about the money he wouldn't come [to New York]."
Norwick also told FanHouse that additionally, James would also get a lifetime of complimentary dinners at Robert's Restaurant, which would allow him to "come in and have a girl feed him topless ... or get a lap dance between courses."
There would also be a "LeBron James Day" to celebrate the signing, in which all of the Scores ladies will rock 'Bron Knicks jerseys instead of robes.
One downside to this is that LeBron would potentially hurt his squeaky-clean marketing image if he were to acknowledge the offer or include it as part of any explanation why he left Cleveland for New York (won't happen, but for the sake of discussion...).
Also: you'd think that LeBron already has access to relatively cheap lap dances (hypothetically speaking). That said, the Scores offer is a lifetime deal -- there's no guarantee that he'd get preferential strip club treatment after he retired (again, hypothetically speaking). Coming to the Big Apple would lock that in.
Just one more thing for James to consider before making an informed decision.