Knuckle Puck: Philly Has Raised the Bar on Fan Attire

Each and every weekend this season I'll be taking a look at the random happenings and absurdities that occur in the world of hockey. Feel free to suggest stories, complain or otherwise babble at me via electronic mail.

The fans of the Philadelphia Flyers have officially put fans of the other 29 NHL teams on notice to step up their game. When you come to the arena from now on, you have to top what one fan in Philly did the other night -- carrying a fake indian head with him to Game 4. The bar on in-game fan attire has now been raised.

During the third period of Versus' Game 4 broadcast, cameras caught one fan clad in orange and black -- painted face and all -- waving a faux head wearing a faux Native American headdress. So, borderline racist issues aside (I mean, had the Flyers been playing the Iowa Chops he may have been holding a pack of bacon, so it's all relative) this dude is pretty intense. He took the leap of comparing hockey to some ritualistic blood sport ... which is actually a pretty small leap. But anyway, I think we need to see more creativity coming from hockey fans around the NHL.

Think about how many times you've seen someone with a faux Stanley Cup. YAWN. Or someone with a painted face. Sigh. Or a girl wearing a wedding dress holding a "Marry me Marty" sign at a Devils game.

OK, the latter is too creepy -- and yes, I have actually seen that at a game -- but you get what I'm saying. Creativity, people.

First, there were the green men in Vancouver. Vancouver said to North America, 'step up yo game homies.'

Now, Philly is saying 'what up Vancouver how's this taste?!'

It's time for the next city to step up. Your move, Chicago.

To help out the rest of the NHL, here are some ideas I've come up with for creative fan attire. You can thank me later when you're the talk of your section.

Roast Duck -- Anaheim, it's so simple. Go put on your hunting gear, hunt some duck, and barbecue it between period at the Honda Center. Come to the game wearing camo and orange vests while carrying your catch over your shoulder. Sure, security wouldn't be thrilled about the mess, but hey, it'll be worth it when you get your 15 seconds of fame on Versus.

Man on Fire -- Sure, Vancouver had green men, but you can kick it up a notch, Calgary. You know those flame retardant suits that stunt men and race car drivers wear? That's right, so can you. There's nothing wrong with setting yourself on fire in the name of team spirit as long as there are people standing by with fire extinguishers to put you out at a moment's notice. OK, on second thought, don't do this unless you are a trained professional.

And of course, there's the less-popular-but-equally-uncomfortable-for-the-people-around-you Oil Man for the fans in Edmonton (It's also timely!).

Animal Control -- If you're a fan of the Panthers, Bruins or Sharks, bringing a deadly animal to the arena can be, well, tricky at best. But hey, anything for the team! And think, if you're in Florida there's no one else at the games anyway so it's not like you'd scare anyone by bringing a Panther in. ... I think that this is a good spot to remind you that this column is one big joke. My editor probably appreciates that disclaimer.

It's Astronomy! -- If you're in Dallas, try to bring a supernova star into the building. No one can doubt your fandom if you manage to get a giant ball of space rock that emits hot and possibly toxic gases into the building!

The Knuckle Puck Half-Apology/Half-Public Service Announcement of the Week
In the last edition of Knuckle Puck I wrote about Barry Melrose and his anointment of the Boston Bruins as the best team in the playoffs when they were up 3-0 on the Flyers. We all know how that turned out.

However, it has come to my attention that Mr. Melrose picked the Flyers and the Hawks to both be in the Finals way back in September. Not a bad prediction, eh.

So there you have it folks. Barry Melrose: Half Kreskin, half bringer of horrible playoff doom.