This Week's Worst (and Best) Performances

(June 18) -- Summer is about to begin, and if recent news stories are any indication, it's going to be a long, hot one filled with viral videos, apologies and an unstoppable torrent of talk about the BP oil disaster.

Those familiar themes ran together over and over again this week in on-camera performances by a variety of public figures. Let's review some of the sorriest.

Rep. Bob 'Who Are You?' Etheridge
North Carolina Democrat Bob Etheridge started the week by apologizing for roughing up a mysterious guy who approached him on a Washington street. A video of the incident -- shot by two young men who identify themselves only as "students" doing a "project" and whose faces are digitally blurred -- quickly jumped from the Web to cable news. It shows one man asking Etheridge whether he "fully supports the Obama agenda."

"Who are you? Who are you?," the seven-term congressman demands, smacking the camera and grabbing his questioner's arm. Etheridge says it so many times that the video begins to sound like the opening of a "CSI" episode. Sure enough, a mashup created by "MrDougTV" popped up on YouTube within hours -- with Etheridge accompanied by The Who song that's the theme for the popular TV crime series.

"I deeply and profoundly regret my reaction and I apologize to all involved," Etheridge said in a statement Monday. "No matter how intrusive and partisan our politics can become, this does not justify a poor response."

Etheridge is getting a poor response from voters in his conservative district south of Raleigh, where he won re-election handily two years ago. Since the video went viral, a new poll shows, he's fallen into a tie with his Republican opponent, Renee Ellmers.

Etheridge never got an answer to his question. Nobody has identified the "students" he tangled with or explained exactly what they were up to. Carter Wrenn, a consultant for Ellmers, said Thursday that the National Republican Congressional Campaign Committee knows who they are, but he wouldn't reveal names.

"At this point, with Etheridge taking a hit from the story, it's only in his interest to get their identities, in order to apologize to them," said the Washington Post's David Weigel.

Because, as we've seen this week, apologies always make things better.

Rep. Joe 'I Apologize to BP' Barton
Before the House Energy and Commerce Committee could begin what was expected to be a televised butt-kicking of BP CEO Tony Hayward, the panel's ranking Republican rewrote the script. Joe Barton of Texas apologized to the oil giant and called the disaster relief fund BP agreed to establish "a $20 billion shakedown" by the Obama administration.

Democratic leaders and White House officials jumped at the opportunity to bash Barton and accuse Republicans of being sympathetic to the villain in the gulf tragedy. The three top Republicans in the House publicly called Barton's remarks "wrong" and privately told him to apologize or lose his leadership position on the committee.

By the time the hearing's afternoon session began, Barton was a changed man. He retracted his apology to BP and issued this variation of the old "if anyone was offended by what I said ..." apology:

"I want the record to be absolutely clear that I believe BP is responsible for this accident, should be held responsible and should in every way possible make good on the consequences that have resulted from this accident. If anything I've said this morning was misconstrued from that I want to apologize for that misconstruction."

Tony Hayward
Barton's apology and un-apology temporarily diverted media attention from the lone witness at Thursday's hearing, but BP's CEO still managed to make the worst of the situation.

Tony Hayward had the chance to at least come off better than BP board chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg, who had to apologize Wednesday for his lost-in-translation remark. "We care about the small people," he assured reporters after a meeting at the White House. Svanberg, who is Swedish, later said he "spoke clumsily" and was "very, very sorry."

The chairman's gaffe was small compared to the string of regrettable statements Hayward has made during the past two months. The CEO's responses -- calling them answers would be too generous -- to lawmakers' questions Thursday were a tutorial in evasion. Speaking softly and with little expression, he repeatedly claimed he was not involved in key decisions about the doomed Deepwater Horizon project.

For those who had better things to do Thursday than watch him duck questions for hours, The Huffington Post has assembled "A Whole Day of Tony Hayward's Obfuscating in Four Minutes."

The best that can be said for Hayward's performance on Capitol Hill is that he didn't follow the example of Gen. David Petreaus. The head of U.S. Central Command slumped over and appeared to pass out briefly while testifying before the Senate Armed Services Committee on Tuesday.

On second thought, fainting while being grilled by Congress might get Hayward more sympathy than anything he's done so far.

President Barack Obama
Obama's first Oval Office address might be the most widely panned speech he's ever given.

The president's explanation of what's being done about the BP disaster and his call for energy alternatives seemed to satisfy virtually nobody.

His usual critics accused him of being ineffective and playing politics with the crisis. "A Great Big Gusher of Presidential Goo" was the headline for Jonah Goldberg's New York Post column.

More striking was the wave of criticism from the left. Pundits who usually support Obama complained he was too vague and too weak on the issue of climate change. New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd wrote about his "bloodless quality" and "emotional detachment" -- complaining that the president is "often too hesitant to take the obvious action."

The White House had hoped the speech would be an inflection point -- a chance to turn the story in a positive direction. Instead, Commentary's John Podhoretz said, it appears to be a tipping point for liberals to move away from Obama.


It's wasn't all goo and gloom this week, though. There were some bright spots among the viral videos -- none of which have anything to do with oil and, so far, have required no apologies.

Dale Peterson: Reloaded
Remember the straight-talkin', gun-totin' candidate for Alabama agriculture commissioner who made one of the most entertaining campaign ads of the year? Well, Dale Peterson didn't win the primary election, but now he's endorsing one of his former rivals and he wants everyone to know. So he's done a new video -- and this time he even fires that trusty rifle. (Click here to watch video)

Honorable mention in the category of firearms in Alabama campaign ads goes to Rick Barber, a GOP congressional candidate backed by the tea party. The video opens with a shot of a Revolutionary War-era pistol on a table with Barber speaking earnestly to men portraying Ben Franklin, Sam Adams and George Washington. There's talk of impeachment and revolt. "Are you with me?," Barber demands. There is no gunfire, but the spot ends with Washington intoning: "Gather your armies." (Click here to watch video)

Mountain Man Versus Bigfoot
Turning from historical drama to comic relief, there's the North Carolina man who called 911 to report his confrontation with Bigfoot outside his home in rural Cleveland County.

The beast "looked like a giant ape with a man's face," was 9 or 10 feet tall and had six fingers, Tim Peeler told the police dispatcher.

"I rough-talked him" and brandished a stick to chase away the creature twice, the self-described mountain man told NewsChannel36 in Charlotte.

Peeler noticed something else about the hulking beast before it vanished into the forest. Bigfoot had "beautiful hair," he said. So maybe it was really a werewolf. After all, as the Warren Zevon song reminds us, their hair is perfect.