The worst part about moving to Washington, D.C., is that I did it after Dmitri Young gave up on baseball, got diabetes, and left the Washington Nationals. I like to imagine what a world with 2010 All Star Dmitri Young would be like. Dugouts about Strasburg and Young visiting the sights of our nation's capital, arguing over the merits of Abraham Lincoln's presidency, getting into fights about which flavor of Skittle they like the most. Sometimes I feel sadder missing the things I've never had.

But I know Dmitri will never truly leave us. Why, just a couple of days ago he was arrested in Bloomington, Illinois, for having pot with the intention of smoking.

We love and miss you, Dmitri, and we hope you get well soon. By "well" we mean "crazy, but where we can see you." Today's Dugout follows.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the Bloomington, Illinois Chatroom!
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: /jingles change in dixie cup, wears sandwich board reading "will hit home runs for candy"
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: drugs excuse me drugs
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: anybody have any spare drugs drugs
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: scuse me mamm you look you have some spare drugs ya wanna spare some dopes for a brotha
	LadyCop: Oh hell no, get up off the ground Dmitir, you're under arrest.
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: again why
	LadyCop: Because you just asked me point blank if I had any drugs, and if I would give them to you.
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: whatchu talkin bout gurl i ain axe you fa no drugs who said anything about drugs
	LadyCop: the worst part is that all you have is a hat, a sweaty undershirt, and a big ass pile of drugs.
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: nah that aint me
	LadyCop: Oh really? Well then what are those? /points to pile
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: some drugs
	LadyCop: And what are those things? /points to crate full of bongs
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: drugs accessories
	LadyCop: What've you been doing, carrying this sh** around in a backpack? You've got stuff I don't even recognize in here. Like, what the hell is this? /holds up crazy spoon
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: yee yee thats what we use ta make buttascotch on da rocks, feel me
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: see what you gotta do is put a werthers original on that spoon an heat that sh** up from undaneath till it melt
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: an you might be temptid to use a newer version of werthers but truss me you gotta use werthers original
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: when ya werthers is juicy ya fill up a glass wit crack rocks bout half way up, then pour ya werthers over it
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: drink it all up an that muhf**ka make you feel like ya ass bein japanese finga trapped by sammy davis junior an the candyman, straight up
	LadyCop: That's... horrible.
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: wake up bitch horrible is how i do thangs
	LadyCop: Well enough of this, time to go to jail. Get up, roll toward me, whatever you have to do to produce forward momentum
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: imma just sit here an snort some yay thu a rollt up fruit roll up, aight
	LadyCop: Wait a minute, what the hell are you doing in Bloomington, illinois?
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: eatin some pills, havin some diabeetus
	LadyCop: No, seriously.
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: coachin bench for the oakland country cruisers thats what i do to feed my kids
	LadyCop: What the hell are the Oakland County Cruisers?
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: its uh, haha sheeeeeit i dont even know i think its a band, you ever hear that jam "on the dark side"
	LadyCop: That's still 400 miles away from Bloomington. How are you getting arrested in Bloomington Illinois for drug possession?
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: because
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: ...
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: cause my life aint work out like it was spost to i guess
	LadyCop: Come on, let's just go to jail before this gets poignant. The richest man in Bloomington has 400 dollars, you can probably make bail with a firm handshake.
	LadyCop: Besides, I don't want to miss out on arresting you for opium trafficking in Sri Lanka next year, or whatever
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: ay you look tired you want some dopes
	LadyCop: After years of chasing you, yeah, kind of.
	LadyCop: But no, I'm going to take you to jail. You and I truly are the light and the darkness of this world, Dmitri.
	SteakGrowsOnDmitri: bitch i aint sh**