Even Through Death, Wrestler Adam Frey's Spirit Won't Be Pinned

As one might imagine, Cindy Frey has her good days and bad days.

Frey tries to stay busy to help cope with her grief. Yet, Frey will also smile and laugh because, deep down in her heart, she knows her son. Cancer may have taken Adam Frey in December, one day after Christmas, but Adam Frey, a decorated collegiate wrestler, remained feisty and fearless.

Adam Frey, not one to hear excuses, was also determined to help others with cancer. While millions of welcomed dollars are allocated to research, Frey discovered that funds are needed to help provide daily necessities for many patients. A meal. A tank of gas. A holiday gift. Something that can put smiles on their faces.

That's why Frey started a foundation that bears his name while he underwent cancer treatments at the Hillman Treatment Center in Pittsburgh and Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York. And his vision has provided inspiration for Cindy Frey -- and others -- as she deals with her own emotions and healing process.

"After Adam's death, his [vision] gave me a purpose," Cindy Frey said.

"Adam touched so many lives, and this [foundation] is something that he wanted to do. He could tear you apart on the (wrestling mat), talk you under the table intellectually. He did not have much patience if you were healthy and felt sorry for yourself, but he could be the most patient person in the world when somebody needed his patience.

"But, through it all, he was also such a compassionate person."

Frey, an elite wrestler at Cornell University and one-time Olympic hopeful, died on Dec. 26, 2009, after nearly a two-year battle against testicular cancer. He was 23.

Frey kept the wrestling community up-to-date with frequent yet brutally honest, and sometimes humorous, postings to his blog at adamfrey.us.

About a month before his death, Frey, possibly sensing his own mortality, wrote that "Hopefully life outside of chemo and the sickness will be comfortable." Cindy Frey took over Adam's blog in early December after his health worsened.

Still, a common theme centered on Adam Frey's commitment to his foundation, and friends and family are determined that impact will forever be present.

An important part of that financial equation is the second annual Adam Frey Classic, scheduled for Saturday at Rider University in Lawrenceville, N.J. Frey was an honorary coach at last year's event, which helped raised more than $15,000 toward Frey's medical expenses.

Even before he passed, Frey saw a future in the event and the foundation.

"He was really a unique individual -- he was like an Energizer Bunny, and that was in anything he did and no matter what the circumstances were," said Josh Liebman, a former wrestling coach and educator from Englishtown, N.J., who has been organizing the event and spending time working on the foundation.

"He only knew one way to approach it, and that was to go full-steam ahead and he wanted perfection. Whatever you were going through in your life, when you dealt with Adam, afterward you realized that there was more you can give."

Frey made a point to give in a big way, too.

Frey first started to bring hot lunches every third Wednesday to his fellow cancer patients at Hillman Hospital. That spread to dinners, groceries and incidentals. Frey wanted to leave a legacy to assist patients in their lives with cancer.

The Adam Frey Foundation is a leading contributor to the Hillman patient assistant program, where gift cards are provided in $100 amounts to be used for food, gas or prescriptions. This past Easter, the foundation organized an event where the Easter Bunny provided treats to the children and gift cards to the parents.

"There were times when Adam was sad, there were times he was upset, but there was never a time he didn't have a plan and or wouldn't follow through on that plan," Liebman said. "To say he was an inspiration is an understatement."

ADAM FREY CLASSIC

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• When: Saturday, July 17, 1PM ET
• Where: Alumni Gymnasium, Rider University, Lawrenceville, N.J.
• Tickets: Available online
• For More Information: Adam Frey Classic on Facebook
• Proceeds benefit the Adam Frey Foundation
Adam's family, meanwhile, continues to cope and help spread his vision and legacy.

Younger brother Garrett, a wrestler at Princeton, posted the best freshman season in more than a decade this past year. He won 27 matches and reached the NCAA championships. Jerry Frey, Adam's father, is a salesman who keeps a little bit of his son's ashes in a urn in his truck. A book on Adam's life is planned.

"It has been tough and I think about him every day," Jerry Frey said.

"A lot of people didn't think of Adam as a wrestler; they thought of him as their friend. He was so adamant about helping people, and his foundation is something we all want to see through and make work."

Cindy Frey might be unsure of what some days may bring, but a mother's love is unconditional, under any circumstance. As the saying goes, there are times when the best and most beautiful things in the world can't be touched but are felt in the heart.

"I am dealing with it," Cindy said.

"Some days are good, some days are bad. But Adam wanted to make people happy, and that keeps me going each day."