Laura Ingraham's 'The Obama Diaries': 4 Most Outrageous Fake First Family Quotes

(July 14) -- Conservative radio host Laura Ingraham has the inside scoop on the Obama family's personal life -- sort of. Ingraham's new book, "The Obama Diaries," released Tuesday by Threshold Editions, delves into the "secret diary" of the president, vice president, first lady and first mother-in-law.

How was Ingraham blessed with the unlikely fate of encountering such a coveted personal account inside the Obama administration? From a secret informant similar to how the Watergate scandal developed, apparently:

While Ingraham doesn't take kindly to her work being labeled as fiction -- judging by her appearance on the "Today" show -- the diary entries are, of course, all written by Ingraham's creative hand.

Surge Desk brings you some of the top excerpts from "The Obama Diaries," blending Ingraham's humor, satire and social commentary.

President Obama:

Some things are more important than what Americans want to buy. Things like community and climate change and that episode of Entourage where Drama thinks he has no friends until the guys throw him a big surprise party at the end. We have to be concerned about each other and buy things that advance the common good.

First Lady Michelle Obama:

Honestly, I think we've done all we can for the Gulf Coast. On my way out of town I even stopped by the Pink Pelican Ice Cream Bar to enjoy a luscious treat called the "Chocolate Hurricane." (I have to remember to e-mail Ray Nagin about that one.) After my visit, there will be lines around that ice cream joint for decades -- and who knows, by then they might have even capped that oil spill. But in the meantime, they might want to consider renaming the place the "Brown Pelican Ice Cream Bar." And to think, earlier today, I told the NAACP that, "Dessert is not a right." I stand by that. It's not a right. When I'm working this hard, it's a necessity! LOL

First Mother-in-Law Marian Robinson:

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times -- Michelle really is the one who shoulda been president. Has President Spindly Legs looked at his numbers lately? Goodness gracious, Iran's Mahmoud Shrimpy is more popular here than he is! Then Barack has the nerve to tell some reporter than I am "becoming quite the lady about town"! Why doesn't he keep his uppity in his own business? Even au pairs get nights off every now and then -- and by the way, they get paid more than I do ... which is easy since I get paid with only the privilege of living with Mr. Historic.

Vice President Joe Biden (on Michelle Obama):