Feeling Lonely? It Could Make You Ill or Depressed

(July 26) -- Loneliness has had a lot of company of late. A new generation of researchers has found that, contrary to the traditional wisdom, it can contribute to all sorts of ailments. In fact, a new report out of the University of Chicago shows that loneliness can lead to depression, but not vice versa.

"We used to think depression put you at risk for being lonely," said psychologist John T. Cacioppo, one of the study's authors. "That was the surprise."

Depression is prominently featured in the medical profession's manual of mental disorders, but loneliness doesn't make the grade. Yet in recent years it has been identified as a risk factor for problems as disparate as Alzheimer's disease and elevated blood pressure.

As those results suggest, the elderly -- especially the 20 million people age 75 and older -- are prime candidates for loneliness. They are more likely to be sidelined by disabilities or to lose a spouse. One researcher found that more than 20 percent of older adults reported feeling frequently lonely.

You don't have to live by yourself to be lonely, but it helps. A third of older Americans, 80 percent of them women, live alone -- and a third of the loners live in poverty.

They receive little public attention until disaster strikes – a Hurricane Katrina or a heat wave like the one that seared the East Coast recently. Then health officials issue warnings: "Those most at risk are the elderly living alone."

Because we humans start out in life as helpless creatures and spend long years dependent upon other people to survive, we are an innately social species. As adults, we continue to require the acceptance and support of families and friends.

So social isolation makes us uncomfortable. And perceived social isolation, or loneliness, can actually take a serious toll on our health, including the immune system, even hastening our death. Researchers have discovered that chronic loneliness negatively affects the expression of hundreds of genes.

Lonely people don't broadcast their state of mind -- in our culture, it's something to be ashamed of, a failure. I know I felt that way during periods of loneliness as a child and adolescent, and I was in no hurry to tell my parents. It was just another of those problems, like bad grades, that were supposed to be solved by "pulling up your socks."

Different people have different thresholds for becoming lonely. What counts most, researchers say, is the quality of your social connections, not the quantity. If those connections are strong, you can live alone and like it. For most people, Facebook encounters will not suffice.

Until recently, loneliness received little scientific attention or financial support, but a small group of researchers is now focused on the feeling, especially its impact on health. Cacioppo and his colleagues at the University of Chicago are among them.

In one study, he found that loneliness is catching. "If I become lonely," he told AOL News, "I may start behaving in a negative way toward those friends I have. That puts them in a bad mood, so they tend to be off-putting with their friends, leading to a second generation of lonely people. And so on and so on."

The most widely used measure of loneliness is the UCLA Loneliness Scale. It is based upon answers to such questions as "How often do you feel you have nobody to talk to?" and "How often do you find yourself waiting for people to call or write?"

If you're interested in finding your own score, you can download the latest short-form version of the test.

Cacioppo suggests that the best way to break out of loneliness is to start small and safe rather than looking for "the love of your life." Volunteer work, for example, can bring you into positive, unthreatening contact with others. Even small talk about the weather can positively affect your body chemistry and help move you beyond the fear of rejection that keeps so many in a state of loneliness.

The volunteer work you choose, he said, should match your particular interests and talents. If you are fond of animals, for example -- and studies show that the loneliest people have the strongest attachment to their pets -- you might consider helping out at an animal shelter.

The animals will be happy to see you, and your shared interest in their welfare provides an automatic connection with the other volunteers.

By the same token, Cacioppo warns against choosing prospective new friends on the basis of their status or physical appearance. Compatibility depends more on having beliefs and attitudes in common. If you're a quiet type, for instance, you're better off looking for someone who enjoys a companionable silence -- and avoiding blabbermouths.