(Aug. 15) -- Call it "the ground zero mosque," as some of its critics have, and some people might get the impression that the mosque in question will be located, well, right at ground zero, or at least across the street. But that label obscures a few important facts: the Cordoba House complex at 45-51 Park Place would sit not right next door but instead two blocks away from the World Trade Center site, in an area that is not a somber pastoral landscape but a busy and diverse city district.

Whatever the arguments for and against the project, then, it's not accurate to call it the ground zero mosque -- any more than it would be to apply that nomenclature to these other residents of the WTC neighborhood:

The Ground Zero Business Directory

The Proximity	The Neighbor
oneblock northeast of ground zero	The Ground Zero Deli Actual name: Stage Door Delicatessen Location: 26 Vesey St. The skinny: NYC (of course) has a number of delis, but this one has an important location: It's right next to St. Paul's Chapel, the most noted religious building in the area until that changed for some reason. (If it actually gets built, the Stage Door could perhaps prove a good place to go for a few pops before hitting Fox News provocateur Greg Gutfeld's proposed ground zero Muslim gay bar?)
oneblock east of ground zero	The Ground Zero Knittery Actual name: Seaport Yarn Location: 181 Broadway The skinny: A few blocks away from the mosque, closer to the southern end of ground zero, is a knitting store that describes itself as "the yarnaholic's candy store." It carries 53 brands of "designer" yarn (based on our quick count), which is 53 more than we knew existed.
twoblocks southeast of ground zero	The Ground Zero Falafel Carts Actual names: Sam's Falafel Stand; Alan's Falafel Location: Cedar Street between Trinity Place and Broadway; 140 Broadway The skinny: The iconic Middle Eastern dish is represented by not one but two carts within shouting distance of each other. And they have a massive rivalry to boot. Sam's has a huge following, but so does Alan's; New York Magazine called their competition for stomachs a "tahini-splattered falafel war."
twoblocks northeast of ground zero	The Ground Zero Camping Supply Store Actual name: Tent & Trails Location: 21 Park Place The skinny: A block away from the World Trade Center site, the 30-year-old business is very thorough in its approach to outfitting outdoorsy types. It has an entire page on its site recommending different types of gear for different trips, including Mount Kilimanjaro, which is not within four blocks of the World Trade Center site.
twoblocks northeast of ground zero	The Ground Zero Horse Betting Bureau Actual name: Off-Track Betting The location: 25 Park Place The skinny: Strip clubs (see below) aren't the only vice that one can find close to the WTC site. Gambling is readily available, too. You can bet on horse races from this location, two doors down from Tent & Trails.
threeblocks north of ground zero	The Ground Zero Strip Club Actual name: New York Dolls The location: 59 Murray St. The skinny: About a block away from the planned mosque is pretty much the exact opposite of a house of worship, an establishment that led one Yelp user to rave (somewhat NSFW image at the link): "New York Dolls has given me a new appreciation for stripping." In case you're wondering, it's wheelchair accessible, too.
threeblocks south of ground zero	The Ground Zero Trashy Lingerie Store Actual name: Thunder Lingerie and More The location: 100 Greenwich St. The skinny: Not to be outdone by New York Dolls, this adult shop sells a lot of wares that can't be described on this family-friendly website. But it scores patriotism points with an iconic sign complete with American flag.
threeblocks north of ground zero	The Ground Zero Hair Restoration Center Actual name: Dr. Mike and Son Highly Customized Hair Systems The location: 130 Church St. The skinny: Dr. Mike isn't just the proprietor of this barber shop/hair restoration business. He's also a client, as shown by the photos at this site.
fourblocks south of ground zero	The Less-Acclaimed Ground Zero Strip Club Actual name: The Pussycat Lounge The location: 96 Greenwich St. The skinny: This longstanding New York gentlemen's club and music venue gets slightly less positive reviews from Yelp. (One take: "Where strippers go to die. One of the most horrible places I've ever been in my life.")
fourblocks north of ground zero	The Ground Zero Fountain Pen Repair Shop Actual name: Fountain Pen Hospital The location: 10 Warren St. The skinny: This funny-sounding business specializes in repairing antique writing devices, using thingamajigs such as an "alligator tool" (a giant needle used to insert and remove parts from old pens) and pen polish. It also boasts an endorsement of sorts from Bill Cosby.
fourblocks north of ground zero	The Ground Zero Specialty Bookstore Actual Name: The Mysterious Bookshop The location: 58 Warren St. The skinny: Should the Cordoba House face further unexpected plot twists, it'll be in good company with this bookstore, which focuses almost entirely on the mystery genre and is a fitting part of the retail landscape of the city that birthed Paul Auster's famously meta "New York Trilogy."

Methodology: Given that ground zero is a fairly large area that takes up nearly 12 city blocks, we based our distances on physical proximity to the site, rather than a specific address. The information for the businesses on this list came from Yelp and Google Maps and was confirmed with news articles and official Web sites where available.

Ernie Smith is the editor of ShortFormBlog, a news site equally obsessed with numbers and bad jokes.