Top 5 Most Dubious Claims in Beloit College's Class of '14 'Mindset List'

(Aug. 17) -- Every year since 1998, Wisconsin's Beloit College has released its "Mindset List" with the stated intention of informing college professors of the cultural touchstones of the incoming class. It is arguably more successful at making the youth seem like snotty, self-centered egomaniacs who know nothing of anything outside of their immediate experience, and professors like dusty geezers painfully struggling to keep in touch with what's cool today.

The 2014 edition, out today, makes 75 separate claims about today's college freshmen, running the gamut from "Few in the class know how to write in cursive" to "Fergie is a pop singer, not a princess" to "Nirvana is on the classic oldies station." Fair enough. But as the list is compiled by those in the geezer rather than the egomaniacal pixie camp, there are also going to be some questionable claims. Here, the five worst.

2. E-mail is just too slow, and they seldom if ever use snail mail.

To the second part, sure. But the first implies that kids today never use it, and that professors should take that into account.
And that's where it gets iffy. A study from January 2009 showed a decline in teen e-mail use, from 89 percent in 2004 to 73 percent -- but 73 percent is still a pretty overwhelming majority.

And beyond that, just about every college will sign their students up for an e-mail account, which they will be forced to use for class work, contacting professors, getting assignments and that sort of thing. So whatever problems e-mail may have, these kids are going to use it.

6. Buffy has always been meeting her obligations to hunt down Lothos and the other blood-suckers at Hemery High.

This is a reference to the TV series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," which aired from 1997 to 2003. Given that the show ran when the class of 2014 was ages 5 to 11, its members may not have caught a ton of episodes.

13. Parents and teachers feared that "Beavis and Butt-head" might be the voice of a lost generation.

Yes, but not this one. That show ran from 1993-1997, and since most of these kids, as the college notes, were born in 1992, that means that unless their parents had a really wicked beef with "Sesame Street," they probably were not watching it.

21. Woody Allen, whose heart has wanted what it wanted, has always been with Soon-Yi Previn.

As if these kids have heard of Woody Allen!

28. They've never recognized that pointing to their wrists was a request for the time of day.

Let's give the kids some credit here, no? They may not know who Woody Allen is, but it is quite probable that they recognize the concept of a watch, whether or not they wear them. Pointing to their handbags to indicate you want to see their cell phone so you can learn the time is less likely to work than a subtle touch to the wrist, even on these ignorant youths.