How Many More Bullets Can Contrite Roethlisberger Continue to Dodge?

Well, it's official. Ben Roethlisberger is the luckiest man alive.

Until Friday I thought it was Thomas Magill. He's the guy that jumped off a 40-story building this week. The poor guy's suicide attempt was foiled when he landed on a two-year-old sports car.

Roethlisberger has been trying to commit career suicide all his adult life. In the latest attempt, he was fortunate to hit on a scared 20-year-old coed.

She didn't want to testify about what happened on the night of March 5th. That pretty much paved the way for what happened Friday, when the NFL reduced Roethlisberger's suspension from six to four games.

The immediate argument was whether Roger Goodell did the right thing. The NFL commissioner didn't leave himself much choice. When Goodell initially suspended Roethlisberger, he said the penalty would be reduced if the Steelers quarterback was a good boy.

Big Ben just had to eat his vegetables, make up his bed every morning and stop being accused of sexual assault on a regular basis. Caligula could do that for five months.

Friday's parole announcement is just the latest lucky twist in Roethlisberger's charmed life. He could easily be dead or in jail; instead a guardian angel always intervenes.

Or was that one of his henchmen guarding the entrance to the women's room?

The sexual assault charges were dropped against Roethlisberger, but do you really believe he didn't force himself on the girl he'd been plying with booze?

No, I wasn't in the Milledgeville, Ga., bar that night. But enough witnesses were to make an incriminating stack of circumstantial evidence.

There were only two people in that dingy bathroom, however. It would have eventually come down to He Said-She Said. Only She decided testifying wouldn't have been worth it.

She was underaged, drunk and would have been painted as a floozy in front of millions of people. But she was bruised and bleeding that night, and she never recanted her story.

If you don't believe her, fine. But you can believe if there had been a trial, the least of Roethlisberger's worries on Friday would have been whether he'll be back for the Browns game.

But then, he is the Alfred E. Neuman of the NFL.

What, me worry?

Consider the breaks that have come Roethlisberger's way.

He was lucky to be drafted by a ready-made Super Bowl contender.

He was lucky no teammate or bouncer ever punched him out for being such a self-absorbed snot.

He was lucky to win Super Bowl XL despite having the worst passer rating (22.6) in Super Bowl history.

He is lucky Terry Bradshaw isn't NFL commissioner.

"Going to bars, treating women like that. Oh my God," Bradshaw said.

He is lucky to be 6-foot-5 and 240 pounds of football talent.


He was lucky all that wasn't thrown away when he decided to be Evel Knievel and ride his motorcycle around Pittsburgh without a helmet or proper license.

He was lucky doctors just needed to use titanium plates and screws to put his face back together again.

"I've gained a new perspective on life," Mr. Lucky said. "By the grace of God I'm fortunate to be alive."

Roethlisberger apparently decided to live each day as if it were his last. Which is how he ended up being accused of sexual assault in a civil suit in 2008.

Luckily for him, the accuser was a ditz.

We'll never know for sure what happened in that case, either. But we do know enough to be suspicious when Roethlisberger says he has a new perspective on life.

He's saying it again after this latest escape. Big Ben has apologized profusely to everyone except a certain 20-year-old girl. He says he's found religion and will prove the skeptics wrong.

I hope he does. Roethlisberger seems to be contrite. Of course, you'd be contrite too if you were the reason Dennis Dixon will be starting the first four games for the Steelers.

Before heading to the commissioner's office, Roethlisberger met with his teammates. He broke down and cried.

"He apologized to all the guys," Hines Ward said. "It was very heartwarming."

There were plenty of people in the room keeping an eye on Roethlisberger.

If only that coed had been so lucky.

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FanHouse TV's Dan Graziano believes the NFL made the right decision. Click below to watch: