Dirty Dozen: The Six Best and Six Worst Teams in the NFL

Rankings?

If you want REAL rankings, look here: www.nfl.fanhouse.com/standings/.

If you want to have some fun (hopefully), read the rest of this, which at the start of the season is based on two premises:

1. The Super Bowl champion is No. 1 until it proves otherwise. The Saints didn't prove otherwise on opening night and Reggie Bush giving back the Heisman doesn't count.

2. They're for fun (or "entertainment purposes only'' as those sheets with the point spread say.) So it's tempting to dump the Cowboys, Jets, Colts and Chargers at the bottom -- the Jets and Cowboys based on their hype (self-generated or otherwise) and the Colts and Chargers based on the way they stunk up Reliant and "New'' Arrowhead stadiums.

("New'' seems to be the way to describe a recently constructed or refurbished edifice without naming rights. New Arrowhead is OK; New Meadowlands could be the Big Gray Elephant)

Anyway, how does anyone make a judgment after Week 1? For that matter, at the rate the injuries are coming, who will be able to make a judgment after Week 17? I guess we'll just put the team with the fewest guys in injured reserve at the top.

And an 18-game season is coming? They may have to draft United Football League teams to finish it.

In any case ...

Top 6

1. New Orleans (1-0): Anyone want to argue? The still-maligned defense did a nice job against a quarterback who may finally be showing his age.

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2. Baltimore (1-0): The Ravens should have won by more than 10-9. Anquan Boldin makes a difference. Even if Rex Ryan had put Darrelle Revis on him (after the fact, he said he would have), Antonio Cromartie or Kyle Wilson would have had to cover Derrick Mason.

3. New England (1-0): Give Bill Belichick time to prepare for an opponent, hyped or otherwise and ... it's 31-3 12 seconds into the second half.

4. Green Bay (1-0): Yes, the Packers lost Ryan Grant and yes, running backs tend to be the easiest guys to replace (Grant himself was a late pickup from the Giants for a sixth-round pick, and then there's Arian Foster).

5. Houston (1-0): Thanks to Arian (and a lot of other guys) Texans fans are looking for available rooms in the Dallas area in February. Not a bad drive, but let's not prepare for it just yet.

6. Tennessee (1-0): Chris Johnson has decided to increase his goal to 3,000 yards.

Bottom 6

27. Arizona (1-0): A narrow win in St. Louis proves nothing except that, as expected, Kurt Warner's retirement and the losses of Karlos Dansby, Boldin and others have dropped the Cards back to their traditional spot near the bottom.

28. Chicago (1-0): Change that stupid rule and these guys would be where they belong.

29. San Francisco (0-1): Maybe Mike Singletary's late-night meeting will lead to a 15-1 season. Don't need it when 7-9 might win the NFC West.

30. St. Louis (0-1): As we were saying about the NFC West ... Sam Bradford looks like a keeper, but please don't ask him to throw 55 passes again. Especially on a team with Steven Jackson.

31. Oakland (0-1): Reports of the Raiders' improvement were premature.

32. Cleveland (0-1): Eric Mangini showed up in a poll of NFL players as the coach they'd least like to play for. Way behind Belichick, Tom Coughlin and Mike Shanahan -- three tough guys who can at least can boast Super Bowls rings.