
The Dallas Cowboys are turning 50. What do you give a team that has had everything?
Other franchises have won Super Bowls, set records, spawned legends, made fashion statements, ruled TV, dominated police blotters and inspired porn films. None have done it with the style and panache of the Cowboys.
They're not called America's Team for nothing. They've also been called a lot of other things. Love 'em or hate 'em, the NFL sure would have been duller without them over the past five decades.
To honor of the 'Boys hitting the big Five-Oh, we now bring you 50 of their greatest moments, men and memories.
May the next 50 years be as entertaining, though we can't possibly see how.
1. When Whiskey Speaks, Jerry Listens: With two straight Super Bowl wins, the Cowboys seemed invincible in 1994. Then Jerry Jones went to the NFL meetings, had a few drinks and popped off to a few reporters gathered around the bar.
Annoyed because he thought Jimmy Johnson had snubbed him at a league party, Jones said that Dallas had so much talent that "any one of 500 coaches could have won those Super Bowls."
Jones first denied the reports, saying it "was just the whiskey talking." But the fallout was quick and furious.
Johnson resigned and Jones hired Barry Switzer, who basically proved that just about anyone could have coached Dallas to those Super Bowl wins.
2. Hail Mary: The term was invented by Roger Staubach after Drew Pearson caught his desperation 50-yard pass to beat Minnesota and win a 1975 divisional playoff game.
Minnesota fans reacted by throwing an orange at Pearson and a whiskey bottle at field judge Armen Terzian. Both Hail Marys found their mark, with the bottle hitting Terzian in the head.
If the police had caught the bottle-hurling fan, his defense undoubtedly would have been that "It was just the whiskey throwing."
3. Leon Lett I: The Cowboys were leading Buffalo 52-19 in Super Bowl XXVII when the big lug recovered a fumble and showboated the final 10 yards toward the end zone.
The Bills' Don Beebe became the all-time poster boy for Hustle by dashing the length of the field and swatting the ball out of Lett's hand just before he crossed the goal line. If Dallas hadn't been leading by 33, Jimmy Johnson would have cut Lett on the spot and sent him to the Nicaraguan jungle.
4. Michael Scissorhands: Michael Irvin really wanted a haircut during training camp in 1998. He went to the team's barber shop and told tackle Everett McIver to get up in mid-haircut.
When McIver refused, Irvin supposedly grabbed some scissors and stabbed his teammate in the neck. The gash required 18 stitches to close. The official line was that Irvin was just horsing around, but he reportedly paid McIver $700,000 in hush money to avoid criminal charges.
And they said John Edwards had expensive haircuts?
5. The Really Mad Bomber: Clint Longley can claim one of the greatest and one of the worst moments in Cowboys history. As a rookie he relieved an injured Roger Staubach on Thanksgiving 1974 and led Dallas to a wild comeback over Washington.
Two years later, he sucker-punched Staubach in training camp, giving the legend a scar over his eye that can be seen today. Longley said he just wanted to facilitate a trade, and whacking the resident legend would do the trick.
He was sent to San Diego a day later, where he lasted only one season. At least he didn't sucker punch Dan Fouts.
6. Too Tall Goes Boxing: Ed Jones walked away from his football job in 1979 to become the world's tallest boxer. The 6-foot-9 defensive end went 6-0 as a heavyweight. He then decided he'd be better off facing Joe Montana than Larry Holmes and resumed his Pro Bowl career with the Cowboys.
7. But Your Honor, She Looked 12: After being charged with aggravated sexual abuse of a child in 1987, Cowboys kicker Rafael Septien said "I am not guilty. When it all comes out, everybody will see."
What they saw was him plead guilty and get sentenced to 10 years of deferred probation. Septien was also ordered to avoid alcoholic beverages, and hopefully 10-year-old girls.
8. The White House: As an exercise in team building, a bunch of Cowboys rented a house where they could go for rest, relaxation, drugs and recreate their favorite scenes from "Debbie Does Dallas."
They caught a lot of grief, and not just from their wives, when their little hideaway was uncovered. All those impeaching comments didn't sit well with White House office holders.
"We've got a little place over here where we're running some whores in and out, trying to be responsible, and we're criticized for it," Nate Newton said.
Hey, at least they were responsible enough not to let Septien arrange the entertainment.
9. Not That There's Anything Wrong With That: Other than "I'm Joe Namath," there has never been a better pickup line in NFL history than "I'm the Cowboys' quarterback."
It took on a whole new meaning in the 1990s when rumors circulated that Troy Aikman was gay. What's better, the rumors were supposedly planted by Jimmy Johnson, who thought Aikman was trying to get him fired.
It was all chronicled in Skip Bayless' book "Hellbent: The Crazy Truth About the Dallas Cowboys." Whatever the truth, it could only happen in Dallas.
10. Video Killed the Punting Star: Shortly after the big debut of Cowboys Stadium and its mammoth video board, a punt from Tennessee's A.J. Trapasso hit the gigantic HD screen during a preseason game.
For $1.2 billion you'd think they could have gotten a stadium that wouldn't swat down kicks. Jerry Jones said the board's "entertainment value" makes it worth the risk of interfering with play.
No punts have hit the board since the 2009 game, but we're holding out hope for this year's Super Bowl. That would be real entertainment.
11. QB Shuffle: Unable to settle on a starter, Tom Landry had Roger Staubach and Craig Morton alternate plays in a 1971 game against Chicago. The Cowboys had more than 500 yards offense but still lost, 23-19. It was probably the only game in NFL history where a team's quarterbacks wore out their cleats simply getting on and off the field.
12. Trouble with a Capital P: The Cowboys hired security guards to keep Pacman Jones out of trouble, so he got into trouble with one of his security guards.
While attending a party at an upscale hotel in 2008, Jones reportedly went in the bathroom and hit the unidentified bodyguard, who was using the urinal at the time. Hotel security broke up the scuffle, but not before a mirror was broken.
The bodyguard chose not to press charges. He was probably just relieved Jones didn't make it rain $1 bills and then shoot him.
13. The Sphinx Speaks. Sort Of: Moments after winning Super Bowl VI behind the running of Duane Thomas, CBS' Tom Brookshier went to a jubilant Cowboys locker room and interviewed the star of the game.
Brookshier: "Duane, you don't look that fast the way you run, but then you're able to outrun the defensive players. Are you really that fast?"
Thomas: "Evidently."
When you ask a dumb question, get a smart answer. Brookshier was haunted by the interview for years. "I think of it and break out in cold sweat," he said.
14. Star Wars: Terrell Owens was always drawn to the star power of Dallas, even when he played for San Francisco. In 2000 he scored a touchdown and sprinted to the big star painted at the 50-yard-line.
As T.O. spiked the ball on the Dallas logo, defensive back George Teague spoke for millions of fans when he flew in and leveled Owens with a flying body block. And to think Jerry Jones eventually gave T.O. a $25 million contract. He should have put Teague in the Ring of Honor.
15. Dying for Publicity: When Terrell Owens downed a bottle full of pain pills in 2007 in an alleged suicide attempt, his panicked publicist called 911 asking what to do.
The next day, the gum-chewing Kim Etheredge held a press conference and said everybody was making too big a deal out of things. After all, how could anyone with a $25-million contract get depressed?
"Terrell has 25 million reasons why he should be alive," she said.
He also was handed one good reason to fire his publicist.
16. Spitting Image: If Owens would spike the star, he'd certainly spit on an opponent. The NFL fined T.O. $35,000 after he hocked a loogie in the face of Atlanta's DeAngelo Hall in 2006.
Owens' publicist did not hold a news conference afterward. But if she had, she would have said "Terrell has 35,000 reasons to never spit in an opponent's face."
17. In the End, A Beautiful Life: Harvey Martin represents everything good and bad about the Cowboys. The defensive end was a beloved player with a personality to match. He got a morning radio show called "The Beautiful Harvey Martin Show."
He also got into drug trouble, tax problems and domestic abuse. But Martin eventually cleaned up and became a role model around his hometown of Dallas. He died of pancreatic cancer on Christmas Eve of 2001, the youngest Super Bowl MVP to pass away.
18. Son, Have You Seen My Purse?: Sadly, Larry Bethea was no Harvey Martin. When this defensive lineman's life went to hell after football, he stole his mother's $64,000 life savings from a safe in the home they shared.
A year later Bethea was identified as a suspect in two armed robberies and committed suicide.
19. Peek-a-Boo: Like a lot of Cowboys, Lance Rentzel liked the ladies. He just had a weird way of showing it, even by Dallas standards.
The star receiver was married to Hollywood hottie Joey Heatherton. Their marriage ended after he was arrested for exposing himself to a 10-year-old girl in 1970.
Rentzel said he had a psychological hang-up due to a smothering mother and a desire to prove his masculinity. At least he didn't try to get even by stealing his mother's life's savings.
P.S. Lance Armstrong is named after Rentzel. Make up your own joke.
20. Is That A Snickers Bar in Your Pants, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?: The popular candy bar once popped out of Nate Newton's uniform while he was blocking a guy. Not that anyone should have been surprised.
Newton's contract called for an $80,000 bonus if he reported to camp under 310 pounds. He never came close. One year he showed up weighing 368 pounds.
Newton also had quite the appetite for women (see: No. 8) and drugs (busted once with 213 pounds of marijuana in his van). No wonder he suffered from the munchies.
21. Prime Nap Time: When Dallas signed Deion Sanders for $35 million in 1995, he brought in a work ethic that only worked for him.
At his first defensive team meeting, Sanders propped his feet on a table and yawned through the film session. When defensive coordinator Dave Campo asked him about coverage assignments, Sanders said, "Hey, coach, I got that dude right there. Wherever he goes, I go. All that Cover Two stuff you're talking about, y'all work that out."
Is it any wonder Deion hasn't made it big as a TV analyst?
22. Emmitt Pulls a Yepremian: The NFL's all-time leading rusher has little in common with the kicker from Miami's perfect team, except they both had ill-advised pass attempts.
Smith's came in 1992 at RFK Stadium. Dallas led 17-13 with three minutes left when Troy Aikman was sacked in the end zone. The ball squirted free and Smith tried to throw it out of the end zone. The Redskins' Danny Copeland snatched it to give Washington the win.
Smith finished the day with 99 yards rushing. He should have stuck to his specialty.
23. One Giant Leap: And to think the haughty Cowboys had such humble beginnings. They were 0-11-1 in 1960, their first season. The lone semi-success came when quarterback Eddie LeBaron hit wide receiver Bill Howton with a late score to give Dallas a 31-31 tie against the Giants.
New York had been in the NFL championship game three of the previous four years. Dallas was smart enough to hire a Giants' assistant as its head coach, as his inside knowledge led to the upset/tie at Yankee Stadium.
Say, whatever happened to that Tom Landry guy?
24. He Got Fired: Jerry Jones became the most reviled man in Dallas since Lee Harvey Oswald when his first move as owner was firing Landry.
Most Cowboys fans remembered the 20 straight winning seasons and five Super Bowls, not the 3-13 record in 1989. Tex Schramm cried at the press conference where the firing was announced. Jones had broken the news to Landry at the coach's house near Austin.
"It was the most inadequate I've ever felt in my life," Jones said.
Actually, it was the only time he ever felt inadequate in his life.
25. Lightning Strikes Twice: There had never been two 100-yard runs in a game in NFL history, but Dallas did it twice in one quarter.
It was Oct. 14, 1962, against the Eagles. Amos Marsh returned a kickoff 101 yards, then Mike Gaechter returned an interception 100 yards, both in the fourth quarter of the Cowboys' 41-19 win. Gaechter apparently had not propped up his feet during the defensive meetings and told coaches to work out their own coverage schemes.
26. Offers They Couldn't Refuse: Before imploding Texas Stadium in 2009, Jerry Jones auctioned off fixtures and memorabilia. The sale raked in $291,401.10 for the enterprising Mr. Jones.
Among the hot items were the locker used by Roger Staubach and Troy Aikman ($6,325), the door to the cheerleaders' dressing room ($5,807) and Tony Romo's locker nameplate ($1,265).
To the ongoing disappointment of many fans, there was no bid to be made on a toilet where Jones flushed down Wade Phillips' contract
27. Drew Strikes Out: The Cowboys thought they had their QB of the future when they gave Houston a third-round 2005 draft pick for Drew Henson.
He played one real season at Michigan before signing with the New York Yankees. His baseball career fizzled, so Henson decided to try his old sport. The Cowboys signed him to an 8-year contract with $3.5 million guaranteed.
The investment paid off with 10 completions in 18 attempts, then Dallas sent Henson to the Rhein Fire of NFL Europe. But for a quarterback, he was a great third baseman.
28. Gullible's Travels: Curvin Richards rushed for 180 yards in his two-year Dallas career, but he was an All-Pro airhead. As a rookie in 1991, veterans told him the charter flight to Cleveland was leaving from Love Field, not Dallas-Fort Worth International.
Richards showed up at the wrong airport and missed the flight. Later that year he saw the sign posted by a veteran: GO TO KROGER'S BEFORE NOV. 20 FOR YOUR FREE TURKEY! Richards fell for the old gag and scooted to Kroger's.
Perhaps his greatest contribution was as an example. Jimmy Johnson needed to strike fear into his overconfident players before the 1992 playoffs. Richards had fumbled twice in the season-ending win over Chicago, so Johnson cut him despite the fact he couldn't replace him on the roster and would have to pay Richards full playoff shares.
Dallas went on the win the Super Bowl. At least Richards had plenty of bonus money to buy a turkey.
29. His Cup Runneth Over: The Dallas-Houston rivalry predates football, but it got serious when both signed Oklahoma tackle Ralph Neely in 1965.
Neely first went to the AFL Oilers. Then Dallas got his rights from Baltimore and Neely returned his check to Houston and signed with Dallas. The Oilers sued and got three Cowboys draft picks, cash and an agreement that Dallas would play five preseason games against Houston.
Thus was born The Governor's Cup, awarded to the team that wins the now semi-regularly scheduled Texas showdown. Considering Neely was a four-time All-Pro, Dallas got the better end of that deal.
30. Give Me A D!: Long before there was fantasy football, there was fantasizing about football cheerleaders. The Cowboys so perfected it that it inspired the 1978 porn classic "Debbie Does Dallas."
We won't bog you down with plot details, but the fictional "Texas Cowgirls" and their star, Bambi Woods (who flunked her tryout with the real cheerleaders) prompted a lawsuit with a name that will live in jurisprudence history:
The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders v. Pussycat Cinema.
The judge described the movie as "a gross and revolting sex film." It's safe to say he was never invited to the White House.
31. No Way to Go Out: Michael Irvin's Hall-of-Fame career ended prematurely when he suffered a neck injury against Philadelphia in 1999. As he lay motionless and his teammates knelt in prayer, fans at Veterans Stadium started cheering.
"I know our fans pride themselves on being tough, but that wasn't tough. That was just plain ignorant," Eagles' receiver Charles Johnson said. "I was embarrassed to stand on the sideline."
Fortunately, Irvin quickly regained feeling in his limbs. Not so fortunately, he also regained full use of his mouth.
32. Bring Me the Head of Troy Aikman: The Eagles liked to kick Dallas when it was down. Witness 1989, Jimmy Johnson's first season and the year of the Bounty Bowl.
Johnson accused Buddy Ryan of paying his players extra if they knocked out Aikman or kicker Luis Zendejas, who suffered a concussion during the 27-0 Thanksgiving Day massacre.
Two weeks later in Philadelphia they staged Bounty Bowl II as thousands of fans pelted the Cowboys with snowballs. Among those hurling was future Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell. The Democrat later explained he thought George W. Bush was playing for the Cowboys.
33. It's the Marijuana Talking: A lot of players' lives went to pot after retiring, but none more than Mark Stepnoski's.
The All-Pro center became president of Texas NORML (National Organization for the Repeal of Marijuana Laws) and served on its national advisory board. He was featured in the organization's "Profiles in Cannabis."
"Since I was a kid, I wanted to play in the NFL," Stepnoski said. "Even though I occasionally used marijuana, it never prevented me from attaining my goals."
Didn't Michael Irvin say the same thing?
34. Royalty Schmoyalty: Jerry Jones thinks he's the Cowboys' real coach, which is why he's logged more sideline time than the average cheerleader. Jimmy Johnson didn't exactly see things that way.
During a season-ending win over Chicago in 1991, Jones traipsed down the sideline with Prince Bandar bin Sultan. The Saudi ambassador to the U.S. was accompanied by six bodyguards.
"What the (bleep) are these guys doing here?" Johnson yelled at Jones.
You could almost see the thought bubble appear over the owner's head – "I could bring Queen Elizabeth down here and Barry Switzer wouldn't notice."
35. Ad Men: Cowboys have made hundreds of commercials over the years, but none live on like the Skoal ads by Walt Garrison.
He was a real Cowboy, riding broncos on the professional rodeo circuit. That gave the fullback (1966-74) street cred when he looked in the camera and said the immortal words, "Just a pinch between your cheek and gums gives you the full tobacco flavor without lighting up."
If only somebody had invented and legalized smokeless marijuana, Mark Stepnoski could have been the modern-day Garrison.
36. Fans, I Love Them: Things were going so poorly in 2008 that a fan wearing a Jason Witten jersey showed up outside the practice facility wearing a sandwich board that read, "WADE IS AN EMBARRASSMENT TO THE STAR" and "OUR TEAM HAS NO HEART."
Linebacker Bradie James said the man blocked his way as he tried to drive out of the parking lot. He got out of his SUV and ripped off the man's sign and police were called. No charges were filed, but the fan got off the touché line.
"You guys didn't show that fire last night," the fan told James.
37. I Will Survive: Among the many NFL records Dallas holds -- most ex-employees on "Survivor."
Forgettable quarterback Gary Hogeboom was on "Survivor: Guatemala" in 2005. He kept his identity secret because he feared the other contestants would assume he's already wealthy. Hogeboom was eliminated on day 30, probably by Eagles fans who somehow recognized him.
Jimmy Johnson is on this season's "Survivor: Nicaragua." He'd better hope Prince Bandar bin Sultan and his bodyguards aren't members of the other tribe.
38. Don't Laugh at My Ride: Fullback Deon Anderson was charged with misdemeanor deadly conduct (it's only a misdemeanor when it's not directed at you) in February after he pulled a gun on a parking valet.
Anderson's car wouldn't start and he accused Mekonnen Geji of tampering with it. The valet said Anderson retrieved a gun from his car and asked him why he was laughing.
Police were called and found the loaded gun in a nearby shrub. Whatever transpired earlier, Geji got the last laugh that night.
39. Dumb and Dumber: The headline roared that in 1995 after Barry Switzer's brain froze in a December game at Philadelphia.
The Cowboys had blown a 17-3 lead and were tied 17-17 with two minutes left. With the ball on their 29, they had a fourth-and-inches. Switzer decided to run Emmitt Smith behind the Cowboys' massive left-side linemen.
He was stuffed for no gain, but officials ruled Dallas didn't get the play off before the two-minute warning. Granted that reprieve, Switzer decided to try the same play again.
Same result. The Eagles then kicked a field goal to win.
"It surprised us," Eagles coach Ray Rhodes said of the double-Emmitt call.
Maybe Switzer shouldn't have bummed that smoke off Mark Stepnoski at halftime.
40. World's Largest Booger: Mel Renfro holds the franchise record with 52 interceptions, but the most famous pick in franchise history occurred Sept. 20, 2009.
Call it the Revenge of the Giant Video Board. A camera caught Jerry Jones mining his nose for the sellout crowd to see on the 160-by-72 foot high-def screen that hangs over the field.
If a punt had hit the video board during Jerry's pick, could the returner have refused to catch it?
41. 3. Leon Lett II: The Great Frozen Thanksgiving Day Blunder of 1993. Ahead 14-13, Dallas blocked a Miami field goal with 15 seconds left and the ball rolled toward the end zone. As 10 Cowboys celebrated, an 11th ran downfield and tried to recover the ball.
Had he done nothing, the Cowboys would have automatically received possession and run out the clock. But Lett jumped on the ball, slipped on the ice and it skittered out his hands.
Miami recovered and kicked the game-winning field goal. Lett was later diagnosed with permanent brain freeze.
42. Jackie Blue: Tight end Jackie Smith had a distinguished 15-year career with the Cardinals. The Cowboys picked up the tight end for a final roundup in 1978, and used him strictly for blocking.
Smith had zero catches going into Super Bowl XIII. But with Pittsburgh leading 21-14 in the third quarter, Roger Staubach threw a short pass to a wide-open Smith in the end zone.
Doink.
Dallas had to settle for a field goal and eventually lost 35-31. Despite 480 career receptions, Smith will forever be remembered for the big one that got away.
43. Love Hurts: Quarterback Tony Romo has enjoyed the perks of the job, including Carrie Underwood and Jessica Simpson.
His romance with Simpson became a distraction when she attended an Eagles game in 2007 and her boyfriend tanked. Then they were photographed relaxing in Cabo San Lucas the week before a playoff game against the Giants.
They broke up last summer, prompting a fan to sneak into a Wade Phillips press conference and ask if he missed Simpson. Phillips got up and left.
44. Whiskey Talk II: Fifteen years after his late-night bar chat ripping Jimmy Johnson, Jerry Jones Unplugged struck again.
He told a few folks that Bill Parcells isn't "worth a (bleep)" and Tim Tebow would never get on the field in Dallas. This time a cell phone video camera captured the speech for posterity.
For entertainment's sake let's hope Jones never learns that when he puts whiskey in his mouth, his foot soon follows.
45. Hold the Line: Season No. 50 got off to a bad start when tackle Alex Barron's holding penalty nullified the winning touchdown pass on the final play against the Redskins. He was also called for holding at the end of the first half, moving Dallas out of field-goal range.
Barron was signed in the offseason to replace Flozell Adams, the second-most penalized player in the NFL since 2005. Who is the most penalized?
Alex Barron.
46. Training Days: Tom Landry wouldn't approve of how preseason camp has become a traveling circus under Jerry Jones. JJ has marketed it from Thousand Oaks to Austin to Wichita Falls to San Antonio to whatever city will pony up the cushiest financial deal.
The Cowboys' first camp was at Pacific University in Forest Grove, Ore., aka "Nowhere." Teams were allowed to protect 25 players in the expansion draft, so Dallas could take only three off each of the 12 NFL teams. The Cowboys then signed almost 160 free agents. It was quantity, not quality.
"The dregs," Tex Schramm called them.
Landry planned a grueling camp to whip the dregs into shape, and he figured the remote locale would enhance the boot-camp mentality. He could have held it on Alcatraz Island and it might not have mattered.
Dallas went winless in 1960. But at least none of the wide receivers stabbed any lineman in the neck over haircut disputes in training camp.
47. Vacant: In honor of No. 47, Dextor Clinkscale (safety 1980-86). The only player in NFL history who will ever be named Dextor Clinkscale.
48. Tony, Tony, Tony: Emmitt Smith may have gained more career yards than Tony Dorsett, but nobody will ever top what Tony D did against Minnesota on Monday Night Football in 1983.
With the ball on their 1-yard-line, the Cowboys played it safe and simply handed it to Dorsett off tackle. He found a crack and was off on a 99-yard touchdown run.
Dorsett accomplished the record run despite the Cowboys having only 10 men on the field. Contrary to popular Dallas mythology, Wade Phillips was not their defensive coordinator at the time.
49. Hollywood Nights: His life story reads like your basic tragic-comedy movie script, or your basic Cowboys bio. Thomas "Hollywood" Henderson was a hidden diamond found by Gil Brandt.
He played a reckless, flamboyant linebacking style, perhaps due to snorting liquid cocaine from an inhaler hidden in pants later in his career. After retiring, Henderson spent two years in prison after threatening a teenage girl with a gun and sexually assaulting her.
He got out, won $28 million in the Texas lottery and straightened out his life. Asked what he does ever day, Henderson told the Dallas Morning News, "Not a damn thing, and I don't start that until after lunch."
50. Nip and Tuck: Dallas underwent a lot of change after Troy Aikman retired in 2000, but most of the facelift lines were aimed at Jerry Jones.
He showed up at camp 40 pounds lighter -- about half of that coming from his eyelids, jowls and neck. Had it been any other owner, nobody might have noticed. But Jones has always insisted on being the face of the franchise.
Who knew the face would be Michael Jackson's?




