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Guinness Picks World's Longest Nose

Sep 17, 2010 – 4:24 PM
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Joe Peacock

Joe Peacock Contributor

(Sept. 17) -- This nose knows no bounds.

According to Guinness World Records officials, Mehmet Ozyurek has the world's largest nose. Measuring 3.46 inches from bridge to tip, the Turkish national's schnoz has earned its spot in the hot-off-the-presses 2011 edition of the record book.

I have purposely refrained from picking on this guy's nose, despite having some rather juicy jokes just hanging there, waiting for me to pluck them. It's probably a good thing. though; nose-related humor is rather congested and is on par with crusted-over humor best left under seats or countertops. You might think it's funny, but it's snot.

From Fark: Man with biggest nose picked a winner (thesun.co.uk)
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Just a heads-up to all you prison guards out there. It doesn't matter how much good-behavior time a convict has racked up -- they're criminals. If you give them a bike and miles of open road, they're going to go fast and far and not come back. When "doing the right thing" means "going back to a room with bars on the window instead of being free to frolic amongst the daisies and eat hamburgers and hire prostitutes," I'm guessing you won't find many convicted criminals who'd opt for doing the right thing.

From Fark: Prison allows two convicts out to take a cycling proficiency test. Since you're reading about this on Fark, you can probably work out what happened next (news.com.au)
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And now, it's time for my favorite Friday festivity, the Smoking Gun's match game! This week, match the alleged criminals with the item they allegedly pilfered through illegal means.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Joe Peacock is a staffer at Fark.com, one of the best sources for weird news. The views he expresses are his own and not necessarily those of this news organization.
Filed under: Weird News
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