Of course, why didn't I think of that? It's Twitter's fault that I'm languishing a couple of games under .500 after two weeks with my college football predictions. I've been Tweeting too much – of course, feel free to follow me here – and have not been focusing enough on my picks.
That's been the problem all along. I just didn't realize it until Miami coach Randy Shannon pointed out the obvious, banning his players this week from using Twitter.
"It's a free country," Shannon said. "But sometimes you have to do what's best for your team. We felt like at this time now ... we need to shut it down and get back focused on football."
Following Miami's 36-24 loss at Ohio State, Shannon's players were ordered to shut down their Twitter accounts. Hopefully they had more success with this than they did shutting down Terrelle Pryor. Funny that using Twitter wasn't a distraction when Miami blasted Florida A&M 45-0 on Sept. 2, but only after Miami lost at Ohio State.
Oh, I don't know, I'm just spitballin' here ... but maybe, just maybe, Miami's loss at Ohio State had more to do with INTs than Tweets. Miami quarterback Jacory Harris threw four interceptions – apparently the constant strain on his right thumb while using his phone's UberTwitter affected his grip on the football, and, voila, four interceptions.
Shannon actually may be on to something. Freakin' Twitter! That's why I'm 0-2 on my best bets. At this point, I'm for any explanation (lame excuse) I can come up with since I'm going through my imaginary bankroll faster than Bernie Madoff.
No excuses this week, no more distractions. I hope.
The fine print: this is for entertainment – or a very poor attempt at entertainment – purposes. Before the season, I was staked an imaginary $5,000 bankroll. Each pick is for $50, except for (what's yet to be) a $100 best bet. Point spreads from Wednesday's USA Today. Onto the picks:
Iowa at Arizona. The last time Iowa traveled this far west was in 2004 when the Hawkeyes lost at Arizona State 44-7. This year, the Hawkeyes are taking a different approach. We'll let Iowa safety Tyler Sash explain: "Everybody's making this big deal of going west. I feel like it's just the opposite of going east." Makes sense to me. Go Opposite of east, Young Man! Iowa -1½.
Arizona State at Wisconsin. Arizona State is going east – or to paraphrase Sash: the opposite of west. Do I go with an Arizona State team that must Head East? Never Been Any Reason (if you're under 45 years old, you have absolutely no idea what I'm referring to). Don't worry I won't "Badger" you with the details. Yeah, that's not much better. Anyway, Wisconsin -14.
Ohio at Ohio State. It's always fun (i.e. a desperate reach for material) to list the famous alums of various universities. Did you know Ohio was the academic training ground for such folks as Peter King, Jay Mariotti, Matt Lauer, Paul Newman, Arsenio Hall and Richard Dean Anderson? Anderson, of course, is better known as – in fact it's printed right there on his drivers' license: The Actor Who Played MacGyver. The Ohio University better hope Anderson strings together some MacGyver-like contraption before kickoff to slow down The Ohio State University's Terrelle Pryor. The Ohio State -30.
Tulsa at Oklahoma State. The Cowboys haven't lost at home to Tulsa since 1951. Back then Henry Iba, known as one of the greatest defensive minds of all-time, was coaching Oklahoma State's basketball team. And yes, that's the last time this season you'll ever see Oklahoma State and great defense used in the same sentence. Tulsa +7.
BYU at Florida State. The Cougars, who are coming off a 35-14 loss to Air Force, have played in four consecutive Las Vegas Bowls. Quite frankly, they're tired of going to the same postseason destination year after year after year. Good news for BYU: get blown out at FSU and the New Mexico Bowl is looking a lot more likely. Florida State -9½.
Georgia Tech at North Carolina. After the ACC's not so sterling 1-5 record this season against automatic qualifying BCS leagues, the ACC is guaranteed another win Saturday in Chapel Hill. Yeah, yeah, I know it's a conference game. At this point, the league will take any win it can get. UNC -1½.
Louisville at Oregon State, the dreaded Best Bet. It's been what, four weeks, since Oregon State last played a game? Actually it's only been 14 days, which means since Oregon State's last game, there have been seven SEC players suspended, dismissed from their teams or arrested for selling jerseys, dealings with agents or texting their girlfriends. Louisville coach Charlie Strong, the former Florida defensive coordinator, knows all about the SEC. Unfortunately for Strong, UL doesn't have any SEC talent. Oregon State does in the Rodgers brothers. Oregon State -19½.
"Cover Me's" Trifecta of Terror: At least somebody around here had a positive showing last weekend as "Cover Me" went 2-1. This week he likes two underdogs among his three picks: Washington (+3½ ) vs. Nebraska, Mississippi State (+8) at LSU and Virginia Tech (-19½ ) vs. East Carolina.
Lock of the week: Take the Tigers when Clemson visits Auburn on Saturday.
Bonus selection. Next week's lock: Take the Bulldogs when Georgia visits Mississippi State on Sept. 25.
McMurphy's picks: 2-5
"Cover Me's" picks: 2-1
Bankroll: Down 265 for season; 4,735 left
McMurphy: 7-7; -145 (0-2 best bets)
"Cover Me": 2-4; -120
Brett McMurphy is a national college football writer for FanHouse. Contact him at email@example.com or please follow him at Twitter.com/BrettmcmurphY. He won't stop Tweeting for long.