How I Scammed a Facebook Scammer

(Sept. 29) -- Be honest. How many of you wish you had the perfect comeback? Or a great way to get back at a telemarketer interrupting dinner? Or how about turning the tables on a scammer? I was lucky enough the other day to get that chance when a Facebook hacker got hold of my cousin Rick's account and tried to rip me off.

Facebook scams are a big problem, don't get me wrong. TechCrunch reported on the scam almost two years ago, but the scammers are still going at it. And Facebook still apparently doesn't have an effective way to combat these crooks.

But when I realized "Rick" wasn't Rick, I seized the chance to get my revenge. Below is the unedited (except for a few expletives) transcript of my IM conversation with "Rick."

Read it, study it and feel free to steal liberally from it. We'll never get rid of scammers, but maybe if we join together to make their lives truly miserable, they might just start looking for another line of work.

Rick
hey
how are you doing?

Me
Hey there, Rick!
i'm doin' alright
you?

Rick
not fine at the moment

Me
what's up?

Rick
I came down here to Wales,United Kingdom for a short vacation unfortunately i got mugged at the park of the hotel where i stayed

Me
oh s***
not again

Rick
all cash,credit card and cell were stolen off me but luckily for me i still have my passports with me

Me
Thank God
Really, Rick, Praise Him. The passport is the most important thing!

Rick
I've been to the embassy and the Police here but they're not helping issues at all and My flight leaves in less than 3hrs from now but am having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won't let me leave until i settle the bills
I'm freaked out at the moment...and i need your help right away

Me
Rick!
I get it!
You need money. How can I help you??
Hurry! I have to go the bathroom!
Like that time when we were roadtripping to New Hampshire and you c****ed your pants!

Rick
i need you to loan me some cash to sort out my hotel bills
and take a cab donw to Airpot
Are you there?

Me
Yes yes

Rick
all i need is $2,000USD

Me
Absolutely, Rick. I am so sorry for your troubles.
Would it be easier if I drove the money over to you?? I'm in Cardiff this week for the Male Model conference, as you know.
What city are you in? I can get the money to you right away.

Rick
you can have it wired to my name via any western union outlet
here is the info where you need to wired the cash to me
Name:- Rick Smith Address:757 Beechley Drive, Cardiff, South Glamorgan, CF5 3SJ United Kingdom
Did you got the info?

Me
wow!
I am in Cardiff too!!!
Are you there as part of your job with the FBI's Computer Crimes division??

Rick
true?

Me
I am so proud of your work there, cousin!
Yes!
I will drive the money over!
Or are you still undercover with your work with the FBI?
I could maybe leave the money in an envelope in a public place without actually seeing you if that would be easier.
Let me know.

Rick
western union will be safe for me

Me
ok
if that's how you want it

Rick
how soon will you have it done???

Me
um
please don't get mad
but I'm worried that you might not be Rick
I mean, I KNOW you are Rick
but can you answer a quick question for me?
Rick Smith is awesome at U.S. History
so, who was the first President of the United States?

Rick
omg
Are you doubting me?

Me
i know, I'm sorry!!
But if you can just tell me who the first U.S. President was, then I'll know you are YOU
No Googling.

Rick
John Hanson of course

Me
Ding!
Hi Rick!
I will send the money now.
Please stand by the money machine.

Rick
Ok

Me
Oh crap.

Rick
you can email me the confirmation number to the hotel manager email

Me
I forgot my PIN number and the bank wants a $50 fee to issue a new PIN number!!

Rick
outie500@yahoo.com

Me
But all my money is in my account!!

Rick
outie500@yahoo.com
so?

Me
Do you think you can send me the $50 so I can unlock my account and send you the $2,000?

Rick
omg
Are you kidding me?
i don't have nothing on me right now
email me the details here as soon as you have it done..outie500@yahoo.com

Me
You have that awesome Knight Rider edition Casio watch still, right?
You can easily sell that for $50 and wire it to me.

Rick
the mugger's as gone with it

Me
I have to get my account open to send you all this money!!
shoot
what are we going to do, Rick??

Rick
oh no

Me
I can't get into my account without $50 and I MUST send you this $2,000USD to help you!
Think, Rick, god*****it!
Use your FBI training -- the same training you used to track down that guy who impersonated you on Facebook that time!!

Rick

(I'm still waiting for Rick to get back to me.)