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In a merger of the two things I loved the most when I was five years old, comedian, children's entertainer and fictional character Pee-wee Herman has been announced as the special guest star for the November 1 edition of WWE Raw. WWE.com announced the following:Pee-Wee Herman is taking time off from performing on Broadway in The Pee-wee Herman Show to come out to the Nassau Coliseum where he's sure to make some new friends and create some chaos with WWE.
Never has such mayhem been caused on Monday Night Raw by a man in a red bowtie. Pee-wee Herman will turn Raw into his Playhouse on Nov. 1.
Obviously WWE.com has forgotten about Bob Backlund.
Herman, real name Paul Reubens, was a star of stage, screen and television in the 1980s, bridging a sexually-charged stage show into two major motion pictures and Emmy Award-winning Saturday morning children's program. His fame quickly turned to infamy following an arrest for public masturbation at a Sarasota, Fla., adult theater in 1991.
Since then, Reubens has continued to work, appearing in films such as "Blow" and "Mystery Men" and on television shows like "Murphy Brown," "Pushing Daisies," and "30 Rock."
The possibilities for a Pee-wee Herman Raw are endless. Here are some of my suggestions:
• Have Sheamus interfere in Randy Orton's match and hit him in the head with Chairry
• Wade Barrett can give John Cena a DDT on the floor, only for the floor to reveal itself as Floory, allowing Cena to completely no-sell everything and win the match.
• Edge wishes he could have a shot at the WWE Championship only for the General Manager's podium to swing open with a "Wish? Did somebody say WISH?"
• Chris Jericho puts Shawn Michaels face-first through the Magic Screen.
• The Bella Twins continue their celebrity brown-nosing by each grabbing one of Pee-wee's arms and saying, "Oooh, we LOVE how you publicly masturbate!"
• CM Punk can join those condescending fish for some commentary on this season of NXT.
• Randy descends from the ceiling backstage, convinces Evan Bourne that getting into a handicap match with Nexus is a great idea.
• Alberto Del Rio wrestling El Hombre.
• A door-to-door salesman representing Sara Del Rey knocks on Vince McMahon's door, says "I'm going door to door to make you this incredible offer!" and gets the door shut in his face.
• The entire Diva roster represented by tiny claymation dinosaurs.
• Santino Marella and Pterri have a long conversation where I realize they are the exact same character.
And so on. Hopefully it'll go somewhere beyond Reubens saying "I have a DVD coming out" and Sheamus telling him he doesn't care about his "styoopid DVD" before demanding a "shot at the doublya doublya E championship."
At the very least we know it'll be an improvement over the October 25th Raw, scheduled to be hosted by TNA ship-jumper Toby Keith.
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