Some Big Ideas for the Chilean Miners Rescue Pod

(Oct. 14) -- By the end of the day Wednesday, the 33 trapped Chilean miners had been brought to the surface via the specially designed capsule that measures 13 feet in length and no bigger around than a bicycle tire.

Like you, I cheered as the first miner was brought to the surface Tuesday night -- although I must confess that after the first miner got in the capsule, I thought it would make for fantastic television if it came to the surface empty.

Also, I must admit that I got a little bored as the rescue wore on. At one point, I turned to my Twitter friends and said that this was the most boring Chilean mine rescue I had ever seen.

So I got to thinking, what is going to happen with that capsule when the rescue is over? Oh, sure, it could go in a museum, but that's not very imaginative.

Here are some ideas I have for putting the mine rescue capsule to good use:

Ship it to NYC and rent it out as an apartment for $2,100 a month.

Send it to Washington and hold the U.S. Congress Fan Club meetings in it.

Paint "Nuclear Missile" on the side of it and sell it to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Give it to Lady Gaga. She'll wear it to her next awards show.

Use it as a travel case for Jay Leno's backup auxiliary chin.

Turn it into the World's Most Popular Phone Booth.

And come to think of it, now that we've got this livable space 2,400 feet below the Chilean desert and a reliable delivery mechanism to it, can we take a vote on who we'd like to send into the mine for a while? How about:

Loudmouth attorney Gloria Allred

Justin Bieber

Lindsay Lohan (she will come back with a method for extracting narcotics from shale)

The person responsible for keeping "Two and a Half Men" on the air

Osama bin Laden (just to show everyone the finer points of cave-dwelling)

Snooki and The Situation

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Speaking of people who won't be famous for long, what are the Chilean miners going to do now? Is their story actually big enough to keep them all paid for the rest of their lives? Because if it's not, you know ... it's back to the mines for them.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure some pretty wacky stuff happened down there. Heck, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes once and we had already voted on whom we would eat first.

I'll bet, though, that we will never get the whole story of what happened down there. I'm sure that as rescue neared, the leader of the miners stood up and sternly reminded them all, "What happens at the bottom of a 2,400-foot Chilean mine shaft stays at the bottom of a 2,400-foot Chilean mine shaft."