I'm not into playing moral cop between a dirty old quarterback and a bimbo. But NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has to do it, and will probably end up suspending Brett Favre, if he's guilty of any part of what everyone is snickering at.
Fair or not, that is the image of Brett Favre and Jenn Sterger in their sexting flap.
Wrangler Jeans is already distancing itself from Favre, not showing his commercials during NFL games this past Sunday. He reportedly met with Goodell about the allegations on Tuesday. Goodell needs to resolve this fast, as Favre is turning the league into a joke.
Imagine Tuesday's meeting:
Goodell: "Brett, did you really send these pictures by text message? And is that really your penis?"
Favre: "No. And I can prove it.''
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I guess I shouldn't have called Favre a dirty-old QB or Jenn Sterger a bimbo. That's just what it looks like from the outside. They seem to be examples of the sports world gone wild. They are clichés.
And it's funny because these star athletes and these celebrities -- whatever Sterger is -- seem to be part of a culture we look up to.
A person's sex life is none of our business unless it crosses legal lines. That's exactly how I felt during the whole Tiger Woods mess, too. But while Favre is married, he isn't accused of cheating on his wife. He's accused of sexual harassment, which does matter.
It's also part of the sports culture.
How dumb must Favre actually be, if he really did this, to risk his legacy by sending pictures of his private parts via text messages, anyway? Favre was playing for the Jets when it allegedly happened two years ago, and Sterger was an in-house sideline eye candy/reporter for the Jets.
The fact is, it's hard to know how to identify Sterger, to know what she is. Did I actually say eye candy/reporter? Those things can't mix.
She was there because she was gorgeous. And Favre theoretically treated her like a sex object. No one should be subjected to sexual harassment, but can you see why there would be confusion?
Sterger knows. A few years ago, a video went around the web with her talking about her breasts and her clothes. Jenn Sterger the person, she said, was one thing. Jenn Sterger the Florida State Cowgirl – another term I can't explain – a Playboy model, a Maxim model, was a role, an act.
Which one did Favre send photos to?
In that same interview, Sterger said the $11,000 she spent on breast implants was the best decision of her life. Later, she had them removed. That was news. That is actually her job. (An aside: she also has a TV show on Versus.)
Still, ask yourself this: if you sent pictures like that to a co-worker, how long would it be until you were fired?
Really, this is a culture, and maybe over the next few weeks, someone might bother to get into that. We see that culture all the time, like with the Jets and reporter Inez Sainz recently.
But truth is, the only reason anyone cares now is because there is a famous quarterback, his private parts, sexting and a beautiful young woman with large breasts.
Sexism, sexual harassment? Yeah, whatever.
This is the same culture that led to Sterger's career in the first place. She's the one the TV cameras showed a few years ago at a Florida State football game. Somehow she was an instant celebrity. Brent Musburger said something about red-blooded young men rushing to apply to Florida State.
The sexist culture of football, of sports in general, got her here. It's the culture Favre lives in. It is a sick aspect of sport, which used to be about building character, fitness and sportsmanship. Women are for sex. Gays aren't accepted. Football is for men's men, boys being boys.
That's not to exempt Favre. He is responsible for his own actions, and if he can take down his pants, pull out his cellphone, among other things, take pictures and send them over to a woman he barely knows – and do all of that without any warning bells going off in his head – then he's just, well, it isn't good writing to just call someone a moron, but what else is there?
If Sterger is here to be serious, and was just a victim of Favre, then maybe he should be suspended for the rest of the year. And surely this is his last year.
So Favre might be in his final days as a quarterback, willing to let his career end like this. At the very least, if he did it, his record consecutive games streak will end.
If Favre is the victim of an opportunist, then she is only adding to the culture. Come to think of it, though, that still would make Favre a moron.
So I guess that for Favre's name, that leaves only the hope those pictures aren't him, and the voice mails and e-mails aren't really him either.
Whatever, this is about entertainment, about something to laugh at. That's how people see it.
Right, wrong, no matter. Sterger might be a victim of a creepy superstar. Or Favre might be the victim of a modern-day groupie/opportunist who has turned it into a profession.
Goodell gets to decide, and it might come down to whether those pictures really are of Favre.
Let's just hope it doesn't take a police lineup for identification.
E-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow me on Twitter @gregcouch