I'm Thankful for ... a Moment in September

(Nov. 22) -- On a rainy day with evening commute traffic, angry people and a long line at the checkout counter, it's hard to remember to be thankful.

One look at the front page of any paper and my mind whips me into a riff of the world gone bad. Oil spills, bickering politicians, endless wars and increasing crime make me want to go home, get into bed and only come out for really good soup. Everyday distractions, petty arguments and irritating neighbors erase my recognition of all that I have in my life. But every now and again, I'm given a message from the universe to remember to be grateful.

Like so many people, I am busy and have bills to pay and work that goes not so well sometimes. My children aren't always doing what I think they should, my husband and I bicker and my mother is getting older and surprisingly more vocal in her older age. I am not out looking for food, work, shelter or my mental health (at least, not so much), so I really shouldn't complain, but I do anyway. Often, I get so caught up in what I need to get done that I forget what I have.

This week, something reminded me.

In September, my husband and I were married in our backyard surrounded by 60 dear friends and family. Two days later, we were off to Spain for our honeymoon. The wedding was wonderful, the honeymoon an adventure, but then we were home and back into the swing. I had writing deadlines, teaching tasks, family upheavals and a lot of driving around to do.

Every day, I scratched things off the to-do list, only to write down a dozen more that night. An editor wanted more changes and then didn't like them. The students complained about their grades. One son's job prospects were waning. Anxiety clutched at my heart. Things just don't work out, I thought.

But then the wedding photos came. For a week, I was too busy to look at them -- never mind sitting down with my husband to view them. But finally I clicked on the website and scanned down distractedly until I arrived at one photo.

The shot was one of the ceremony, the light a dappled yellow, the green of our garden all around. I am standing in front of the congregated group with my matron of honor, but only the two of us are in the photo. The photographer caught us both in mid-laugh. I'm bent over from laughing, my smile wide, my face full of joy.

Not in the photo but next to me was the man I love. Next to him and to the other side of me were my older son and my husband's daughters, young adults who give me so much. In front of me, laughing with me, my family and my best friends in the world, not one person there who didn't love me.

In the minutes of staring at that photo, I knew the answer to all that ailed me. I was grateful for that moment in September, and all the thousands that led up to it, my life exactly what I want.

Look, I thought to myself. Look at what you have. And this time, try to remember.

Jessica Barksdale Inclan is a novelist who teaches literature and creative writing for Diablo Valley College. Visit her at Red Room to read about her work, including her supernatural romance novel "Being With Him," now available in paperback.


Thanksgiving Week Special: I'm Thankful for ...
We asked a successful businessman, a former soap opera star, best-selling novelists and other popular writers to share what they are thankful for this year. The articles will run throughout Thanksgiving week.

Monday: A Moment in September -- Jessica Barksdale Inclan
Monday: My Writing Life -- Meg Waite Clayton
Tuesday: Long-Distance Love -- Kathy Briccetti
Tuesday: The Cornucopia of America -- Tina Sloan
Tuesday: A Special Photograph -- Tim Wise
Wednesday: Garlic -- Crescent Dragonwagon
Wednesday: Expressions of Gratitude -- Jacqueline Winspear
Wednesday: All of My Feelings -- Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy
Thursday: Entertaining Strangers -- Pat Montandon
Thursday: Being Home Together -- Kerry Madden
Friday: The Chance to Give Back -- Wally Amos
Friday: A'isha, the Jewel of Medina -- Sherry Jones