Raunchy, Drunken, Bank-Robbing Santas Are Naughty -- Not Nice

(Dec. 13) -- It's Santa Claus' job to find out if you've been naughty or nice -- but who's keeping tabs on Santa's behavior?

Kris Kringle is a holiday icon around the world, but every year at Christmastime a few bad Santas make the jolly man in red seem like a jailbird.

From Hollywood to your own family photo albums, there are bad Santas everywhere -- at least according to the hilarious holiday blog Sketchy Santas, which launched in October.

"[The bad Santa phenomenon] is about the things that we idealized when we were growing up, and seeing them in a whole new light," said Sketchy Santas editor Lisa Kacerosky.

Her site features plenty of evidence that Santa can behave badly -- from clips of Santa dancing like he's in a mosh pit to horrible Christmas snapshots showing terrified kids sitting on Santa's knee.

And they're hardly this year's only examples of bad Santas.

'Naughty' Santa Loses Macy's Job for Raunchy Jokes

The Union Square Macy's in San Francisco threw its longtime Santa under the sleigh after shoppers complained about his adult-themed jokes.

The Union Square branch of the department store fired 68-year-old John Toomey on Dec. 6 after an older woman and her husband objected to his quips.

"When I ask the older people who sit on my lap if they've been good and they say, 'Yes,' I say, 'Gee, that's too bad,' " Toomey told SFGate.com.

"Then, if they ask why Santa is so jolly, I joke that it's because I know where all the naughty boys and girls live."

Toomey says he only cracks those crass jokes with older Christmas lovers -- sticking to traditional questions about wish lists when he's dealing with children.

Despite those words, San Francisco's "Santa John" couldn't convince Macy's officials that he's nice. But he's found plenty of new fans, including Jay Leno, and even a better-paying gig at the bar Lefty O'Doul's, according to UPI.com.

Man in Santa Hat Pulls Off St. Nicholas Bank Heist

Talk about tarnishing St. Nick's name. An armed man in a Santa Claus hat held up a Jacksonville, Fla., bank on Dec. 6 -- in a neighborhood fittingly named St. Nicholas.

The red-hatted marauder entered a BBVA Compass bank at around 1 p.m., pulled out a silver semiautomatic pistol and fired a warning shot into the ceiling, terrifying customers and employees so much that a pregnant teller had to be hospitalized, according to News4Jax.com.

Cops describe the suspect as an African-American male who stands about 5 feet 5 inches tall and weighs about 140 pounds. Though the real Santa favors reindeer, this suspect was last seen driving off in a silver, four-door car.

Drunken Shopper in Santa Outfit Shoves Store Employee, Spits on Cop

Holiday shopping is tough -- even for Santa. Police in Chicago arrested a man in a Santa cap and a "fake fur jacket" who allegedly swore at customers, pushed an employee and left a police officer with a gift even worse than a lump of coal, SunTimes.com reports.

Officers say Adam Klimek, 35, was asked to leave the Brown Elephant store because he cursed out other shoppers and appeared to be drunk on Dec. 3. But when a worker tried to force him to exit, Klimek reportedly shoved the employee and made a run for it. Cops found the suspect about a block away, where he allegedly spit on a female officer and kicked her in the shin.

Klimek has been charged with felony aggravated battery to police as well as misdemeanor battery and criminal trespassing -- which should make it pretty tough for him to climb down any chimneys this holiday season.

'Santa' Brings Presents, Steals Money

Santa doesn't always bring the gifts you want -- just ask the office workers in Papua New Guinea who were robbed by a man dressed like Kris Kringle and his criminal helper.

A perp in a Santa costume and an accomplice made it past security at an office in the Western Highlands Province on Nov. 29 by telling guards they needed to visit the Wamp NGA Holdings headquarters to deliver presents from a local coffee and tea producer, according to HeraldSun.com.au.

Once inside, the red-coated robber and the other suspect led workers to a conference room, where they promised to hand out presents. Instead, they locked the door and pulled out guns.

"I was quite scared," a staffer told the website. "We could not see one of their faces because he had a Santa hat and beard on, but the other guy was just dressed normally."

The duo reportedly escaped the office with about $20,000.

Video Appears to Show Intoxicated Santa Urinating in Parking Garage

The real St. Nick is always in the holiday spirit -- but this bad Santa seems like indulged a little bit too much in the holiday spirits.

A viral video that was uploaded onto YouTube on Nov. 13 appears to show a boozed-up Santa Claus staggering around a parking garage, urinating in public and falling into a parked car, before getting knocked over by a surprised passerby.

The video, which has already racked up more than 800,000 hits, serves as a clear reminder that even Santa needs to pace himself when he's drinking eggnog.