Bob Feller died, and I wasn't sure what to make of it.

When 9/11 happened, I wrote that the weirdest aspect of it all was that the buildings weren't going to be there anymore. I was desensitized to tragedy and overwhelmed with political opinions from every side, but the one thing I couldn't process is that I'd look at the New York City skyline and not see those two buildings. It broke my heart. It made everything open up, and the sadness of lives lost and a world changed overwhelmed me.

Bob Feller is exactly like 9/11.

Haha wait, no, no he isn't, but I hope somebody Googles this and reads that and gets super infuriated. The sentiment is the same for me, though; Feller was old, he had been sick. Death is a part of life. But the weirdest thing for me is that when I looked at the Cleveland Indians next season, Bob Feller wouldn't be there. He wouldn't be a part of it anymore, at least not physically. Now when I think of Bob Feller, I have to think about how he died.

This is my coping mechanism. I'm going to build a shack and hang a "Bob Feller: American" plaque on the front. Today's Dugout follows.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the Afterlife Chatroom!

	Online Host OldFeller has entered the chatroom.
	OldFeller: hullo? Anybody up 'ere?
	OldFeller: Cy? Elmer? Cooter? Snead? LITTLE JOHN, ANYONE
	TheGreatIM: Be relaxed, Bob. I am with you now.
	OldFeller: Who the hell are you? Why don't you cut your hair? And what's with the beard, you tryin' to look like my personal idea of the devil?
	OldFeller: oh whoops sorry yer jesus aren't ya
	TheGreatIM: I Am. Do you really know people named Cooter and Snead?
	OldFeller: probably, i was as old as hell
	OldFeller: so... where am I? Is this Cleveland Indians Heaven?
	TheGreatIM: what part of your 92 years on the planet earth made you think there was a cleveland indians heaven
	OldFeller: point. so hey, if I'm gonna be dead, is the world gonna remember me as the best pitcher of all time or something stupid the Internet made up.
	TheGreatIM: I don't know, let me check /alt+tabs over
	OldFeller: what're ya seein', jesus
	TheGreatIM: oh well right now I'm watching that video of that parrot singing let the bodies hit the floor, but hold on
	TheGreatIM: ok well you died, so now everything bad you ever did seemed good. This guy is calling you a "racial pioneer." Which I guess means you discovered some uncharted races?
	OldFeller: ah that's bullcorn, I got called a racist my entire life
	TheGreatIM: whyever would someone say that?
	OldFeller: because I said players from the Caribbean didn't have brains and couldn't understand words and Jane Goodall couldn't teach them what "bunt" meant
	OldFeller: and for that time when I said Willie Mays was a showoff and that his famous catch could've been made by anyone
	OldFeller: and maybe for that one time at dinner when I jokingly said I killed Shin-Soo Choo's grandfather in the war
	TheGreatIM: Yikes!
	OldFeller: or that time I said Muhammad Ali changed his name and religion to avoid fighting for his country
	OldFeller: or when I said baseball doesn't owe colored people anything, and how colored people don't owe baseball anything
	OldFeller: or just now when I said "colored people."
	TheGreatIM: the cool thing about Heaven is that we don't have PC-police or anti-PC police to judge you based on what you say on camera or to a reporter.
	OldFeller: whew, that's good
	TheGreatIM: yeah, we have a huge book with your name in it that says whether or not you get to be in Heaven that was written long before you were ever born!
	TheGreatIM: actually the cool thing about Heaven is the mansions and the streets paved with gold.
	OldFeller: wouldn't streets paved with gold be dangerous and almost impossible to drive on
	TheGreatIM: we didn't think of cars when we made Heaven, just the streets. Think of them like big gold sidewalks you can walk with your friends, and when you get to the end you're home.
	OldFeller: so Heaven is like... the wizard of oz i waited my whole life for the wizard of oz
	TheGreatIM: actually yes, Heaven is exactly like the Wizard of Oz, and the devil is the witch with sin and vice as his evil flying usher monkeys.
	OldFeller: we had an usher monkey on earth, too! He was a R&B singer!!
	TheGreatIM: seriously, you're going to seriously say that in front of jesus
	OldFeller: I'm sorry, Jesus. You aren't gonna let me into Heaven now, are you
	TheGreatIM: the big book says you can't get into Heaven because you killed people in the war, and the Bible says "thou shalt not kill," not "thou shalt only kill when instructed." So, no, technically no
	TheGreatIM: but come on, how depressing would it be if we didn't let you in? Roman Polanski was way worse than you and we're going to let him in because of how bad ass Chinatown was
	OldFeller: whew, okay, I was gonna say
	TheGreatIM: /closes book So who do you want to be?
	OldFeller: Bob Hope! Wait, why are you asking me that
	TheGreatIM: up here you get to live forever, so we let you pick which you you want to be. That's why I'm this dashing Caucasian 33-year old.
	TheGreatIM: so do you want to be strapping teen Bob Feller, or maybe World Series Champion Bullet Bob?
	OldFeller: long time ago we set up a thing where the colored teams would play the Major League teams. Idea was that we'd kill em and prove to everyone that they didn't belong.
	OldFeller: I didn't think they were worth it. Turns out, they could play a little ball.
	OldFeller: and as I got older I started to realize that maybe I wanted them to be good... I wanted to know that the hate I felt in my heart wasn't real, and that I was just scared, taught wrong
	OldFeller: l was young, I could rear back and let em go. Did a lot in my life. I want to be in every moment again, every second of it.
	OldFeller: but I think most of all I want to be the me that died. Because I think that's the one that had it figured out.
	TheGreatIM: /smiles
	TheGreatIM: We couldn't call it Cleveland Indians Heaven until you were here. so a 92-year old man forever it is!
	OldFeller: hey can you get me in touch with lou gehrig, I wanna tell him how much luckier I was than him 'cause I didn't die young
	OldFeller: also if we're doin the oz thing can you make sure my cowardly lion isn't queer, I think the one from the picture was gay
	TheGreatIM: ha, this is a Fundamentalist Christian Heaven, what makes you think we allow a gay anything here
	OldFeller: your hair and your hippie agenda
	TheGreatIM: ...
	TheGreatIM: /sighs, waves in Liberace and Paul Lynde