Opinion: Amy Chua, Tiger Mothers and the War Against Boys

Amy Chua wants us to talk about how Americans should be raising their children. Are we too soft? Should we be tougher? People are taking sides.

But I would submit that all this talk of so-called tiger mothers has less to do with being a parent and everything to do with what it means today to be a strong successful woman. Why? Because what we are witnessing is an argument among women about what it means to be a mother and a daughter in today's world. After all, that is what Amy Chua's memoir is -- an account written by a mom about raising two girls.

No surprise then that the resulting conversation is doing nothing to help men open up and really think through the question of what it means to be a father and a son.

The problem here begins with how our culture has structured the conversations men and women have.

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Studies show that so-called women's media routinely adopts a serious advice model. The editors and content providers offer tips, and most of it fits what we might as well call the Oprah model. Readers are supposed to be thankful to get this great information so they can go out and make their lives more meaningful.

In contrast, media aimed at men parodies this model. Instead of ascending the pedestal to lecture the ignorant reader, the content providers in men's media bond with their readers by announcing that they are just as stupid, silly and on the make as their readers.

Against this background, Amy Chua's life lessons can suddenly be seen for what they are: advice from a woman to other women about how to mother. And little of it translates easily to men.

Frankly I am not sure any woman can help a father teach his son what it means to be a man. So the first step we need to take is to recognize that it is wrong to assume that what works for women will work for men. Sons are not daughters and fathers are not mothers.

Failure to supply a complementary discussion for men is, I believe, another example of our culture's war against boys.

In March 2010, the Center for Education Policy released a study showing that in all 50 states, boys trail girls significantly in reading ability. "There's a consistent pattern here that says boys are not learning how to read as well as girls," said Jack Jennings, the center's president. "They're dropping out of school at greater rates than girls. They're going to college at lower rates than girls, and they're getting their college degrees at lower rates than girls."

Academics have a term for the syndrome: male underachievement.

And the leading problem? You guessed it: the adoption of Amy Chua's tiger mother philosophy. Why? Because parenting and education that stresses compliance and organization does not always work well for boys.

Boys need something else. And that something else has got to come from men.

Matthew Biberman is a professor of English at the University of Louisville, where he teaches British literature from Shakespeare to the Romantics. He is the author of "Masculinity, Anti-Semitism, and Early Modern English Literature" and "Big Sid's Vincati." Read his blog on Red Room.