Jackpot Soars Again
Inmate Sues Taco Bell, Says Idea For Doritos Locos Tacos Was His
I watched the Super Bowl last night, and I got two things from the experience: one, that I can get an ass like Kim Kardashian's if I buy a pair of Sketchers, and two, Alex Rodriguez is the last person on the Earth I want to see publicly displaying his affection. Above you can see him being fed popcorn by Cameron Diaz, something that became a national news story because jesus lord how far away is baseball season?
Today's Dugout follows and is mostly about football, but "about football" in the way that most Dugouts are "about baseball."
The Dugout
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**Online Host** |
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TheBox: So who's playing right now? /leans forward, squints |
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ster_rod: I DOAN KNOW CHOLA aRAH IS ONLY HERE BECAUSE SHE'S DIRTY RICH |
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FavreAndAway: It's the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers, sweetheart. |
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ster_rod: LOL I'M ROOTINGK FOR THE PACKERS |
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TheBox: Hey, you're Brett Favre! I know you from TMZ.com! I didn't see you sitting beside us. |
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FavreAndAway: yep, I was here, then I left, then I came back, then left again, then came back again, went to get some nachos with my pants down and now I'm back again |
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ster_rod: WHEN DOES GLEE STARTTTTT |
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TheBox: I told you, honey bunny, we aren't at Glee, Glee comes on TV after the football. |
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FavreAndAway: so what brings y'all to the game |
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ster_rod: DO JOO MEAN I SAT THROUGH THE BLACK EYE PEACE FOR NOTHINGK |
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TheBox: oh, the agents that put us together in this celebreality romance storyline also got us tickets. I like football! I'm just like one of the guys! Unn! /does shitty karate kick |
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FavreAndAway: that's great so hey listen I gotta leave again, but let me give you my number |
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TheBox: okay! |
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ster_rod: COME ON PACKERS GET IN THERE, STICK IT TO THE TIGHT END AND PUT THEM ONE YARD IN THE HOLE |
| **Online Host** FavreAndAway has left the chatroom. |
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ster_rod: wow football sounds really gay |
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TheBox: Forget about that, have some popcorn! /pinches corn, moves it around in a circle |
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ster_rod: LOLOLOL K /claps hands, opens mouth |
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TheBox: Here comes the aiiiir plaaaane, open up the hangeerrrrrr /airplanes popcorn /phone buzzes |
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ster_rod: WHOOP JOO GOT A TEX |
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TheBox: Oh, it's from Brett! He sent me a picture. |
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ster_rod: OH GOOD ELIJAH DOOK JOOSE TO SEND ME PEEGTURE, IS IT A PEEGTURE OF A GUN |
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TheBox: ...sort of. Hey here, have this popcorn /banzais popcorn into mouth |
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ster_rod: OM NOM NOM NOM |
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TheBox: /stares at sext of cocktail frank, remembers what it felt like when she was 20 forty years ago |
| **Online Host** rofflesbrgr has entered the chatroom. |
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rofflesbrgr: /sniff sniff |
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rofflesbrgr: sorry, thought i smelt some vaginer up'n here |
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TheBox: Wow, Ben Roethlisberger! |
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ster_rod: CAMRON CAN JOO CHECK THE SCORE OF THE PUPPY BOWEL |
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TheBox: The score is still zero to zero, but they've scored a bunch of touchdowns. Ben, what're you doing up here, shouldn't you be playing?? |
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rofflesbrgr: eh |
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rofflesbrgr: hey do you heh heh do you want my autograph maybe, yeah |
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ster_rod: WHAT DO JOO MEAN THEY SCORT BUT THERES NO SCORE |
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TheBox: Sure, I'd love your autograph! Will you sign my program? |
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rofflesbrgr: sure but oh man just realized i gotta go to the bathroom would you follow me and bring your program sos I can sign it in the, in the uh bathroom |
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TheBox: No prob, that doesn't seem like a terrible idea! Alex, you wait here, I'm going into the bathroom by myself with Ben Roethlisberger. |
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ster_rod: POPCORN ME |
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TheBox: /popcorns him |
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ster_rod: OM NOM NOM |
| **Online Host** rofflesbrgr and TheBox have left this chatroom for a way, way worse one. |
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ster_rod: /tries to get popcorn into his mouth himself, ends up throwing it five feet above the first baseman's head |
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ster_rod: gromble gromble, STOOPIT FOOTBALL THANK GOD ITS ALMOST BASEBALL CEASON |
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**Online Host** |
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FavreAndAway: sorry, realized this chatroom was the only thing I ever truly loved /wipes away tears |
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ster_rod: HAVE JOO SEEN MY GIRLFRIEN |
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FavreAndAway: no but there's a trail of fizzing heinekens leading to the mens room |
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FavreAndAway: say, what kind of jeans are those |
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