The situation going down in Texas is confusing, so I jumped over to FanHouse Dallas Ft.Worth Arlington Euless and read from a forty-something serious journalist that Michael Young is now asking for a trade, saying that he was lied to and manipulated by the Rangers. I'd read this from some twenty-five-year old bloggers, but couldn't believe it. As someone who recently relocated to central Texas, I'm sad to be losing a guy I have cared about for almost six months.
Today's Dugout explores the possibility that Young was misled, but also entertains the possibility that he's Michael Young and isn't really anything to get bent out of shape over.
The Dugout follows.
The Dugout
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**Online Host** |
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YoungLikeAHorse: Trade me! Trade me! Trade me! Trade me! Trade me! Trade me! Trade me! Trade me! |
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BoomBoomWashington: oh lord, is this about us asking you to be DH again |
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YoungLikeAHorse: You misled me! I was deceived! You are all deceivers! |
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BoomBoomWashington: Give me a break, you're 34 years old, what do you want to be, the white Melvin Mora? |
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BoomBoomWashington: DH is the best position, you get to hit and you get paid the same and you get to chill for like 80% of the game |
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YoungLikeAHorse: It was all lies! You said I'd only have to be DH during the offseason... now spring training is about to start and I'm STIL THE DH!!! |
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BoomBoomWashington: are you worried about not winning any more gold gloves? |
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BoomBoomWashington: you didn't really deserve the first one. Here, have another one. I won one last year for managing. |
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YoungLikeAHorse: I demand a full trade to either the Yankees or the Red Sox please. |
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YoungLikeAHorse: I will never play for this team again! |
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EagerBieber: you shouldn't not never say that, girl |
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YoungLikeAHorse: I'm a boy. And what the hell is he doing in this chatroom? |
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BoomBoomWashington: he's got a movie coming out so we're contractually obligated to feature him |
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BoomBoomWashington: also, he's replacing you at DH, probly |
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YoungLikeAHorse: WHAT |
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EagerBieber: sorry, homeboy! |
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BoomBoomWashington: let me let you in on a little secret, Mike: you aren't that good |
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BoomBoomWashington: when Elvis Andrus showed up, we moved you to third. When Beltre got signed, we moved you to DH |
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BoomBoomWashington: we were just going to resign Vlad Guerrero and move you to Always Bench, but that fell through. |
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YoungLikeAHorse: What're you talking about? I'm the face of this organization! |
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BoomBoomWashington: the only reason people thought "Michael Young" when they thought "Texas Rangers" is because they couldn't name anybody else on the team. |
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BoomBoomWashington: now that they can, we don't really give a sh** about you and your Derek Jeter with two white parents ass |
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YoungLikeAHorse: But my stats, they |
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BoomBoomWashington: do you really want me to break out your Ultimate Zone Rating |
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BoomBoomWashington: do you really |
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YoungLikeAHorse: But... but my leadership! |
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BoomBoomWashington: you mean the leadership that kept you out of the playoffs for ten years, do you mean that leadership |
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BoomBoomWashington: is that what you are talking about |
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YoungLikeAHorse: ... |
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BoomBoomWashington: now, is your "women and local" ass ready to play designated hitter or do I need to write in this Snork |
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EagerBieber: /texts some tertiary character from iCarly |
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YoungLikeAHorse: Trade me! Trade me! Trade me! Trade me! Trade me! |
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BoomBoomWashington: ughhh /does cocaine |
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EagerBieber: /does cocaine |
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EagerBieber: like there is any possibility I don't |
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