Just look at that face. How could you put that face in prison? If you've ever watched baseball, you know how good he was. If you don't watch baseball, nothing he did wrong matters.

Barry Bonds had his 11 charges reduced to five, and that seems like a good thing for him, but he still faces the same punishment because they just combined some of the charges. This is known as "pairing."

To further illustrate this point, I have paired Bonds with the only other person who approaches his infamy in modern baseball history.

Today's Dugout follows.

The Dugout

	OldLOL: winning isn't enough, i have to keep going back and doing sh** like suing the jury until they jail me for something
	OldLOL: bein white and famous rulz
	GoldBonds: dont be so hard on yourself rog you arnt white stop sayin that about yourself - you too embattered to be white, you are at least a native indian
	OldLOL: lol god you have no idea how white i am
	OldLOL: i'm so white the teen girl i raped turned out to be a country and western singer
	GoldBonds: sometimes i wish barry bonds were white so he could stop havin to go to court like so much limsy lohan
	OldLOL: did you just say you wished you were white
	GoldBonds: no i said "sometimes i wish barry bonds were white" different person
	OldLOL: oh
	GoldBonds: but no rog it is hard bein a black man, just stand within 500 feet of gary sheffield, he'll tell you
	GoldBonds: got 6 of barry bonds 11 charges dropped tho so life is only so and so busted up
	OldLOL: cool, so you aren't gonna have to stay in your palatial mansion for six munts because of how you perjured
	GoldBonds: no they just pared up the charges
	GoldBonds: like you know how i had a charge for lying in court and also for the time anderson stuck a tube a chapped stick up my thing and told me it was b12 but it ended up being a chap stick full of drugs
	OldLOL: yeah
	GoldBonds: now i face one charge of lyin about having a chapstick up my thing
	OldLOL: o thats pretty cool, i wonder if they can do that for me
	GoldBonds: barry bonds dont think you can face a charge for rape if your white, remember duke
	OldLOL: lol yeah
	OldLOL: i was gonna be all "she was askin for it" anyway, that usually works
	GoldBonds: or you could mention how she had a breast and that absolutely deserves some rape
	OldLOL: haha i don't even know what i'm in court for anymore
	OldLOL: i'm just gonna keep showing up as fat as the kingpin in suits that make me look like the kingpin and demanding justice
	GoldBonds: barry bonds wil end up in a cell next to oj
	OldLOL: really, you think there gonna be that hard on you
	GoldBonds: do what
	GoldBonds: oh sorry i typed that wrong, what barry bonds meant to say was he will end up ON a cell next to some orange juice
	OldLOL: thats what i meant, they aren't gonna make you drink orange juice are they
	GoldBonds: is that bad, what do you drink
	OldLOL: pig fat grease in a funnel
	OldLOL: what brand of orange juice is it
	GoldBonds: hole up let me check
	GoldBonds: sh*t the carton say "drugs"