Dennis Green Loves Son Despite Troubles

Every football coach who is also a father each day ponders if his dual hat of coach/parent is being effectively balanced. One man serving two masters -- both coach and dad -- is thorny navigation.

Joe Gibbs has spoken often about this. About his draining tenure as Washington Redskins coach beginning in the 1980s and how he sacrificed his relationships with his sons J.D. and Coy. Gibbs jumped into racing with both and even back into coaching just to assist Coy in gaining his requested taste of the profession. Gibbs has said that the rest of his life will be spent making up for time lost with his sons.

Andy Reid, the Philadelphia Eagles' coach, in 2007 confronted the harsh reality of a coach pried from his sons when Garrett and Britt were both charged in automobile and drug incidents that resulted in both behind bars. Reid took time away from the Eagles to help heal his sons' and his family's scars. He said the experience helped him to see the merit in giving quarterback Michael Vick a second chance.

And there is the 2005 tragic story of Tony Dungy's son, Jamie, who at age 18 committed suicide. Dungy has used his faith to seek understanding and acceptance in such a loss where often little of either can be found.

On Thursday, former NFL coach Denny Green celebrates his 62d birthday. This former Minnesota Vikings and Arizona Cardinals coach who currently guides the UFL's Sacramento Mountain Lions will do so with a heavy heart.

His son, Jeremy, pleaded guilty last week to one count of possession of child pornography. He is expected to receive a 20-year prison term, suspended after five years, followed by 10 years' probation.

Does Denny Green reflect on the time spent away from his son, the rigors of a distinguished coaching career that began at Dayton in 1973 when Jeremy was barely two-years old, one that landed him his first pro coaching job as a San Francisco 49ers assistant in 1979 on to Northwestern coach in 1981 and Stanford coach in 1989 before his first head-coaching job with the Vikings in 1992? Does he look at all of that and regret it as too much time away from his son? Did he fail in the balance of coach/dad? Are the sins of the son the direct fault of the father?

Denny Green has a quick and direct answer.

"No,'' he said.

'Lost His Way'

Green lives in San Diego with his wife, Marie, and two of his other three children. Vanessa, 14, is an eighth-grader, bright and bubbly, he said. Zach is 12, "a hell of an athlete already,'' said Green, one who can jump high and run fast, a county track star, a basketball player -- but not allowed to play tackle football yet (plenty of time for that, his father insists).

Green's eldest child, Patti, is 43, lives in Chicago, and is a marketing executive for one of the nation's largest distributors for stadium luxury suites.

Jeremy had worked in NFL scouting and as a football media analyst.

Green insists the sins of the son are the son's.
"You can take a wrong turn in life. You can lose your way. This is what happened. He's 39 years old. He had a lot of things go the right way for him. But he lost his way."
-- Denny Green
"You can take a wrong turn in life,'' Green said, softly. "You can lose your way. This is what happened. He's 39 years old. He had a lot of things go the right way for him. But he lost his way. He is a man. It's not like he's 20 years old. I haven't really wanted anything written from my perspective about Jeremy and his situation. I didn't think it was fair he gets even more scrutiny because of who his dad is. But I guess what I can say is he's a man who lost his way.''

Green was asked if he has spoken to or visited his son since his arrest in July.

"I don't want to go there,'' Green said. "We do correspond. I love him, I pray for him."

Green said he does not need more publicity. He has coached in big games, won 117 NFL games, led prestigious NFL coaching committees and has been an impactful voice in the structure of football on both the collegiate and pro levels.

He directs the UFL's competition committee now as the league readies for its third season. This time it begins in August.

"We've moved kickoff each year from September to October to August now,'' Green said. "We are the opportunity for all of those college players who can play but do not have the chance with only so many spots in the NFL. And several of our players are making the jump to the NFL.

"The game has changed, but I still love developing players. I go to Sacramento for training camp in July. I'm there July, August, September and October. I have young children, and this helps realize that balance. I play golf twice a week now with Marie. I spend a lot of time with my family.''

He spent ample time with his oldest son, he insists.

The son, he said, lost his way.

Sin of the Son

You see coaches in today's NFL -- from Mike Shanahan to Lovie Smith to many others -- who employ their sons on their coaching staffs. Little wonder. Keeping them close in this current climate, considering the recent brutal stories involving coaches' sons, is a way to provide them with peace. A way to fulfill their sons' coaching itch. A way to master the challenge of coach/dad.

Many call it nepotism.

Those involved call it a dad's duty.

Denny Green helped his son enter the NFL arena. What he did once there is the sin of the son. How would Green view it any other way? This is a man who grew up in Harrisburg, Pa., in hardscrabble times, a man whose father died when he was 11 and mother died when he was 13.

He will keep coaching. He will keep being a father.

"I still love the game,'' Green said. "The game of football has been incredible for me. This situation has not taken away my love of the game. It's made me .... I will always have a close relationship with my kids. It's just, he's got a tough thing. He'll be in an environment that's a tough environment. He's got to survive it.

"We send all of our love and support and will do everything we can to make it better for him. I hope the fact of who is father is does not make it harder for him. It's not easy for anybody.''