Washington Nationals super-prospect Bryce Harper has had trouble adjusting to sub-big leagues life and the concepts of general human decency, but that hasn't stopped him from setting his sights on an Opening Day roster spot with the Nats. He faces stiff competition from ... well, nobody, because he and Strasburg are the future of the Nationals whether they end up being any good in the long run or not.

I lived in D.C. for most of last year, and it made me a Nationals fan. There's just something about sitting in an empty stadium while an eagle mascot waves a Nationals flag to "Thunderstruck" that makes you really examine your life. Although that could be the die-hard Tribe fan in me. Yeah, I just really like people who fail.

Tonight's doubled-up Dugout follows. And before you ask, yes, I like myself a lot as well.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the Washington Nationals Spring Training 2011 Chatroom!
	RiggleMeThisBatman: Stevie! Stevie! Show Mr. Rizzo what you can do!
	StrasburgersSyndrome: nnnnng /wheels wheelchair into baseball, causing it to roll a short distance
	RiggleMeThisBatman: Great job, Stevie! Isn't that great, boss?
	R_ToTheRizzo: Yes, a fantastic job, little helpless Stevie!
	StrasburgersSyndrome: nnnnng
	DoubleDibble: total bullshit
	R_ToTheRizzo: I wasn't expecting him to develop wheelchair mobility for another four years, very impressive.
	LifeIsWerthLosing: heyyy sorry to interrupt, uhhh I was wondering if I could borrow 130 million dollars, you know, for stuff
	R_ToTheRizzo: Sure. When can you pay me back?
	LifeIsWerthLosing: never
	R_ToTheRizzo: /hands over 130 million dollars for nothing
	R_ToTheRizzo: anyway, as I was saying, poor helpless little forgotten Stevie is the reason why we're going to develop our prospects more slowly, and keep them out of the big leagues, forever if necessary.
	Online Host HarperImage has entered the chatroom.
	HarperImage: well ex-cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, princess!
	HarperImage: I saw that online, do you get the reference, it's from before I was born so I don't really give an F
	R_ToTheRizzo: Bryce!
	HarperImage: uhm, Mr. Harper, dude
	R_ToTheRizzo: Mr. Harper, of course! Are you excited for your first season in the minor leagues?
	HarperImage: uh, no, are you ready for your first me kicking you in the asshole
	HarperImage: I could care less, I'm going to be the Nationals starting shortstop in the bigs this year, for all intensive purposes
	RiggleMeThisBatman: Shortstop? I thought you was catcher!
	HarperImage: Shut up, I just decided it! I'm a shortstop now. The point is mute.
	R_ToTheRizzo: Mr. Harper, please, we could sure use a stud catcher, and
	HarperImage: what're you calling me gay?? Do you even KNOW how many homeruns I can hit?
	RiggleMeThisBatman: We just need you to play the position we intended for you, or first base or outfield when we decide you suck too bad at it to continue
	HarperImage: Are you still talking? Don't make me tell AGENT DADDY on you.
	R_ToTheRizzo: Please, no, don't tell your agent, we can work this out. Riggleman, Bryce Harper will be your starting ... uh, shortstop until further notice.
	RiggleMeThisBatman: What'm I gonna tell Ian Desmond?
	HarperImage: The same thing the media says to him. Absolutely f**king nothing.
	R_ToTheRizzo: Boom, roasted!
	HarperImage: shut up
	StrasburgersSyndrome: nnnnng
	HarperImage: I said everybody shut up.
	LifeIsWerthLosing: You know, with a bratty teen catcher, an ace pitcher who can't throw a ball, and me making 130 million dollars... I think we could be real contenders this year.
	RiggleMeThisBatman: Ugh. Are the Expos hiring?
	LifeIsWerthLosing: We are the Expos.
	RiggleMeThisBatman: ah balls