Mr. Skin's 'Anatomy Awards' Honors Best On-Screen Nudity

Most devoted movie buffs are anxiously awaiting the telecast of the Academy Awards on Sunday. But those who'd rather see movie stars in the buff may be much more excited about the "Anatomy Awards."

Instead of celebrating the year's greatest films, the 12th annual Anatomy Awards honors the best -- and sexiest -- female nude scenes to grace the boob tube and silver screen over the past year.

Helming this "breast in show" is none other than Jim "Mr. Skin" McBride, the Chicago film lover who's managed to make an actual career out of watching actresses take off their clothes.

Since 1999, McBride has been "fast-forwarding to the good parts" of Hollywood movies and TV shows in an effort to track and record every single female nude scene ever caught on tape. He shares his fleshy findings on the website MrSkin.com.

Although he's constantly keeping tabs on titillating movie moments, Mr. Skin told AOL News he pulls out all the stops for his annual Anatomy Awards, selecting only the best of the breasts for top honors.

Like the real Hollywood Oscars, the Anatomy Awards is broken down into different categories recognizing different talents, or, in this case, body parts.

Mr. Skin said there are 40 categories total, including "best breasts," which goes to topless Jessica Pare in "Hot Tub Time Machine" this year; "best nude butt," earned by Jessica Alba in "The Killer Inside Me"; and "best full-frontal," snagged by the shamelessly naked Rebecca Creskoff in HBO's "Hung."

Other quirkier categories honor unconventional nudity, such as "best naked & dead," won by Christina Ricci for her portrayal of a nude corpse in "After.Life," and "best phone in vagina," a provocative party trick performed by buck-naked Mayra Leal in "Machete."

But Mr. Skin said the biggest award of all is for the year's "breast picture," which was given this time to "Piranha 3D," the campy thriller starring a bunch of hot women that was panned by critics.

Other naughty nominees in that category included the films "Chloe," "Boogie Woogie," "Love and Other Drugs" and "Lake Placid 3D," but Mr. Skin said "Piranha 3D" blew the competition out of the water thanks to an extremely cheeky underwater nude scene starring Kelly Brook and Riley Steele.

"The girls were beautiful, the scene was long and, to top it all off, it was in 3-D. You really can't get any better than that. 'Piranha 3D' was also the only movie to include a nude parasailing scene, so it really went above and beyond the call of nudity," said Mr. Skin. "It deserves the highest honors."

Another major award went to screen legend Jamie Lee Curtis, who won this year's coveted "Lifetime Skin-chievement Award" for her impressive body of work over the span of her entire career.

"For this award, we try to pick someone who's provided us with amazing, memorable nudity over the years; with nude scenes that have changed guys' lives and left an impression. Jamie Lee Curtis' nude scene in 'Trading Places' -- right around the one-hour mark -- is one of those iconic scenes. It's perfect, with her top off in front of the mirror. She had the best breasts of the 1980s," Mr. Skin said with glee.

All in all, he said Curtis has appeared nude in seven films, including a steamy scene in the 1984 flick "Love Letters." By that count, he said she's definitely earned a "Lifetime" award.

The movie buff also tips his hat to this year's saucy lesbian nude scene in "breast picture" nominee "Chloe," featuring Amanda Seyfried and Julianne Moore.

He praised the commitment shown by the pair and said their acting method should've been copied by Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman in "Black Swan." Instead, he believes Kunis and Portman missed a golden opportunity.

"Ultimately, 'Black Swan' was nominated but penalized in the 'best lesbian scene' category because Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman never got naked. They shared a hot, sexy scene, but didn't fully commit. That cost them the Anatomy Award," he lamented.

To score a win, Mr. Skin said a nude scene has to be of the utmost quality. The rest of the formula for success, he said, is really quite simple.

"The bigger the celebrity and the more nudity they show, the better the chance of winning. It comes down to the quality of the scene, the hotness, the lighting, what body parts are shown and the length of the scene. There's nothing worse than a fleeting nude scene. If it's only three seconds long, what's the point? How good the women look nude is also important."

Mr. Skin is confident he winds up with truly top-notch nominees to choose from every year because his devoted employees don't let anything slip through the cracks.

He said he has a crew of eight full-time staffers whose sole job is to sift through nude scenes eight hours a day, five days a week.

When calculated into man-hours, that's 320 hours of nudie screening per week performed by Mr. Skin's crew, which comes out to 1,280 hours per month and a whopping 15,360 hours per year spent digging through nude scenes.

That's enough work to make anyone break a sweat.

Mr. Skin said his crew picks possible Anatomy Award candidates throughout the year, and every few months they hold a meeting to whittle down the front-runners. By the time awards season rolls around, they've chosen a solid lineup of worthy nude nominees.

Though the Anatomy Awards are in their 12th year, Mr. Skin said he has yet to hold an actual live awards ceremony like the Oscars. For now, he's content crowning the winners virtually on his website and spreading the news through various appearances on radio shows such as "Howard Stern."

He said he may hold an "Anatomy Awards" ceremony sometime in the future -- complete with gold statue trophies featuring a naked lady -- and invite the nominated stars to walk the red carpet.

The biggest perk, he said, will be that starlets won't have to scramble to find a fancy gown to wear to his awards show -- they can just show up nude and strut their best assets.

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