Jonny Gomes of the Cincinnati Reds reportedly celebrated the news of St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Adam Wainwright's potentially season-ending elbow injury by wandering around the clubhouse singing an original song about how happy he was for Wainwright's misfortune. Later he denied the story, saying he was "singing a song from the Karate Kid," which I can only hope was "Never Say Never" by Justin Bieber featuring Jaden Smith.

The best part of the story is that it gives me something to write about for the Reds (because seriously, they're just the exact same boring team as last year), and it lets me use this awesome picture of Gomes that looks like he's gonna be wrestling for his local independent pro wrestling promotion.

This morning's Dugout follows.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the Cincinnati Reds Spring Training 2011 Chatroom!
	BakersDozen: Hey, son. Thank you, my son. Thank you big-time. Significant, huh?
	BakersDozen: A significant injury. Thank you, my son, for the tip. I love you. /hangs up phone
	LoveCanBillBrayBridge: who was that, was it your son
	BakersDozen: That was my son, Darren. He was giving me the Wainwright report. That's my scout, right there.
	Catagomes: that's cool, but I mean you also probably could've used all of our professional scouts
	LoveCanBillBrayBridge: or you could've gone to AOL FanHouse
	BakersDozen: Is that still a thing?
	BakersDozen: no, no, Darren was telling me that Adam Wainwright is significantly injured, they're gonna have to reconstruct his entire elbow.
	Catagomes: WHATTTT
	LoveCanBillBrayBridge: whoa, I didn't know adam wainwright was part of the reds rotation
	Catagomes: ♫ Waiiiinwright's gonnnnnne, with the winnnnnnnd
	Catagomes: ♫ Waiinwright's GAWWWWW HAWWWWN with the WINNNNNNND
	Catagomes: ♫ train roll on ♫
	LoveCanBillBrayBridge: hahah his misfortune is going to be great for my gym mix
	Catagomes: ♫ Waiiiinwright's gonnnnnne....
	SaboToothTiger: hey you young punks, you shouldn't sing songs like that!
	LoveCanBillBrayBridge: gasp, cincinnati reds notable chris sabo!
	Catagomes: I wudn't singin' nothin', I was singing the Karate Kid theme song. You know, the uh
	Catagomes: the song from the movie, the Karate Kid, about uh, wainwright injuring himself
	SaboToothTiger: I too once sang a song of schadenfreude, and now I must live the remainder of my life in these goggles
	SaboToothTiger: for shame, Jonny. The missing H in your name must stand for humanity.
	BakersDozen: Darren just called me back, he said Chris Sabo's a dork and that you can sing whatever you want
	Catagomes: ♫ Waiiiii-iiiinright's gone! And I feeeee-heelin' strong!
	Catagomes: ♫ I WILL SIIIIIING THIS VICT'RY SONG ♫
	SaboToothTiger: come on, guys
	BakersDozen: shut up, Chris Sabo, you John Olerud's hat eyeballed motherf**ker
	LoveCanBillBrayBridge: so hey skip, did your (I'm going to assume) five year old Darren tell you what happened?
	Online Host Previously, in the St. Louis Cardinals Spring Training 2011 Chatroom!
	MozeliakFirefox: Adam, we're extremely concerned about the health of our rotation this season, so we're assigning you a personal assistant.
	MozeliakFirefox: He'll help you avoid unnecessary movement, follow you throughout your daily routine and treat your arm accordingly.
	TheScaleIsntWainwright: Wow, that's pretty cool and all, but can we afford it?
	MozeliakFirefox: we're paying him with all the money we aren't giving to Albert Pujols.
	MozeliakFirefox: Mark McGwire worked out well, so we're continuing our trend of hiring disgraced former big leaguers into instructional positions
	charlie_hustle: Can I grab yer bags? LEMME GRAB YER BAGS!
	TheScaleIsntWainwright: Uh oh. Uhhh, I don't think this is going to work out
	charlie_hustle: c'mon paulie, roll a dice, take a chance
	charlie_hustle: like I says, lemme grab them bags /tries to yank duffel bag off of Wainwright's shoulder
	TheScaleIsntWainwright: Ouch, watch the arm!
	charlie_hustle: aw spaceflights, I'm sorry, here, lemme treat that with a lil' icy hot, heeeere y'go /accidentally sets Wainwright's arm on fire
	TheScaleIsntWainwright: AHHH AHHHH
	charlie_hustle: OH NO, I WAS SPOST TO USE COOL, NOT HOT /removes frozen bucket of ice from freezer, begins smashing Wainwright in the arm with it
	TheScaleIsntWainwright: blechhhhhh /collapses
	charlie_hustle: oh, oh, oh oh, oh here lemme get over here and get somebody to help make it better before i does anymore....
	Online Host charlie_hustle has stepped on TheScaleIsntWainwright's elbow.
	charlie_hustle: ...damage
	MozeliakFirefox: You have engaged in a variety of acts which have sprained the Wain, and you must now live with the consequences of those acts.
	charlie_hustle: awww horseshoes
	charlie_hustle: when will my sad life finally end