Thank God, thank your parents, thank your significant other, thank the director/the crew/your agent. Say you can't believe you were nominated. Make a predictable joke about not respecting the speech time limit. Then raise the statue triumphantly and walk off.
Snore.
But they're worth watching because every now and then someone says something hilarious, touching or just creative.
Surge Desk has rounded up some of the best speeches in Academy Awards history. We hope this year's nominees are paying attention. We want to be entertained, not bored!
1. Sally Field
Certainly one of the most memorable Oscar moments came when Sally Field accepted the Best Actress award for her role in 1984's "Places in the Heart." It was her second Academy Award. But her legendary line -- "You like me, you really like me!" -- didn't actually come out of Field's lips. What she said was: "I haven't had an orthodox career, and I've wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!"
Watch:
2. Sidney Poitier
Poitier's win for "Lilies of the Field" was historic, making him the first black Best Actor recipient. His speech in 1964 was brief but effective. "It has been a long journey to this moment," he said. Watch:
3. Jane Wyman
In 1949, Wyman won the Best Actress award for her portrayal of a deaf-mute rape victim in "Johnny Belinda." In a nod to the fact that her character didn't utter a word, Wyman turned in one of the shorter, more clever speeches in Oscar history, saying only, "I accept this very gratefully for keeping my mouth shut for once. I think I'll do it again."
4. Cuba Gooding Jr.
When Gooding won as Best Supporting Actor for "Jerry Maguire" (1986), he delivered a touching acceptance speech. He may have hit some of the cliches, but his excitement made it one worth watching -- particularly when he kept raising his voice to compete with the orchestra trying to play him off.
5. Gerda Weissmann Klein
Klein, a Holocaust survivor, was the star, if you will, of 1996's "One Survivor Remembers," which won the award for Best Documentary Short Subject. Klein's speech ran long and someone tried to get her offstage, but she persisted. Her heart-wrenching words about the Holocaust and what she went through are well worth hearing. You can watch the video here.
6. Elizabeth Taylor
In 1993, Taylor brought massive attention to a growing health crisis by using her acceptance speech for the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award to discuss HIV/AIDS. She said, "Tonight I am asking for your help. I call upon you to draw from the depths of your being to prove that we are a human race. To prove that our love outweighs our need to hate. That our compassion is more compelling than our need to blame. That our sensitivity to those in need is stronger than our greed."
7. Robert De Niro
De Niro earned big laughs when he won best actor for 1982's "Raging Bull" by thanking Joey LaMotta, brother of boxer Jake LaMotta -- whom De Niro had portrayed in the film -- "even though he's suing us." Watch here.
For more of the best and worst Oscar speeches, read a 1999 Washington Post article by Sharon Waxman on the lost art of the Academy Award acceptance.
More Oscars coverage from Surge Desk:
Oscars Red Carpet: The 5 Worst Dresses and Outfits of All Time [PHOTOS]
Follow Surge Desk on Twitter.
Official Claims White House Wasn't Involved In IRS Scandal
House Takes Up Far-Reaching Anti-Abortion Bill
Mika Admits 'Hypocrisy' Over NSA Scandals
Gang Of Eight Senators Shrug Off John Boehner
U.S. To Start Talks With Taliban
Bobby Jindal Has Had It With All The Self-Reflection That He Demanded
Same-Sex Couples Face Significant Housing Discrimination, Historic Government Study Says
GOP: Sick Leave For Me, None For Thee
NSA: 50 Terrorist Plots Were Foiled Thanks To Surveillance Program
'We Can Just F*cking Ignore Her'
High-Speed Trading Bad For Everybody: Study
PHOTO: Brazilian Officer Pepper-Sprays Female Protester In The Face
Man Faces Felony Charge For Allegedly Sending Death Threat To Cruz
GOP Congressman: I Oppose Abortion Because Male Fetuses Masturbate
Italian Court Explains Why It Ordered Knox's Retrial
NYPD Sued Over Muslim Surveillance Program
Allen West Unleashes Sexist Rant, Wants To Keep Women Out Of Combat
41 Busted In Child Sex Sting
Study: World's Richest People Got 10 Percent Wealthier In 2012
Judge Urges New Approach For Guantanamo Detainee Cases
Jack Lew's New Signature Is Really Pretty Boring
Bachmann Slams 'Bizarre' Rove, Obama 'Insanity'
Obama: Bernanke Has 'Stayed A Lot Longer' Than He Wanted
Deputy Finance Minister Drunk During Parliament's Budget Meeting?
LOOK: Westboro's Chilling Response To Child's 'Lemonade For Peace' Sale
LOOK: The Mystery That's Stumped Feds For DECADES
Papua New Guinea Teen Beheads Father After Rape: Report
