In conclusion, the Colorado Rockies can be compared and contrasted.
What better way to embrace the oncoming nothingness than by reading about the history of the Rockies in today's Dugout, which follows.
Facebook / Twitter
What better way to embrace the oncoming nothingness than by reading about the history of the Rockies in today's Dugout, which follows.
Facebook / Twitter
The Dugout
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**Online Host** |
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BichetteHitsTheFan: /punches enormous happenstance of meat |
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Mick: Yer a bum! You couldn't make it in Milwaukee! |
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BichetteHitsTheFan: /loses sight of having dreams |
| **Online Host** MustBetheMoney has danced in the style of Hammer into the chatroom. |
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MustBeTheMoney: hey what's up everybody, check it out, Primetime is in your chatroom! I'm exactly like Bo Jackson! |
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BichetteHitsTheFan: /beats meat |
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MustBeTheMoney: guess what, in an attempt to get the public interested in baseball, we're gonna put a team in Colorado |
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MustBeTheMoney: you're gonna get a chance to face the WORLD CHAMPIONS |
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BichetteHitsTheFan: /Bichette happens |
| **Online Host** One season later |
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BichetteHitsTheFan: /finishes all 162 games /collapses to field with 67-95 record |
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Mick: You did it, Rock! You went the distance! |
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MustBeTheMoney: exactly like bo jackson |
| **Online Host** Welcome to Rockies II: the Colorado Rockies 2007 Chatroom! |
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roman_holliday: /slides into home plate, misses it by like a foot |
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general_mcclelland: ummmmumum ... |
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roman_holliday: /slip n'slides into on-deck circle |
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general_mcclelland: home run |
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general_mcclelland: i mean safe |
| **Online Host** The Rockies have won and are advancing to the playoffs. |
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roman_holliday: YO ADRIANNNNN |
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roman_holliday: ADRIANNNNNNN, ADRIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN /field begins to fill up with well-wishers |
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roman_holliday: YO WHERE IS ADRIAN, ADRIANNNNNNNNN |
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Adrian: What, what |
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roman_holliday: WE DID IT |
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Adrian: I know dude shut the f**k up about it |
| **Online Host** Welcome to Rockies III: the Colorado Rockies 2008 Chatroom! |
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InTheMidnightHoward: /shows up, destroys the sh** out of the Rockies |
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roman_holliday: oh no, we lost the national league championship |
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HurdleWax: we can't keep playing like we've been playing, sliding into bases without touching them and somehow getting away with it |
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HurdleWax: I'm gonna send you to Oakland, so you can learn how the colored players play ball! |
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roman_holliday: ok skip |
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HurdleWax: just be sure to come back once you've learned it, ok |
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InTheMidnightHoward: My prediction: pain. |
| **Online Host** Welcome to Rockies IV: the World Baseball ClassicChatroom! |
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IannettaCrook: hey man, I'm Chris Iannetta. I am, apparently, one of the best baseball players in the United States. |
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UltimoDrago: I can not be defeated. I beat all man. Someday, I will beat a real champion. |
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IannettaCrook: holy sh** I didn't know Soviet Russia had a World Baseball Classic team |
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UltimoDrago: wait, do we |
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UltimoDrago: oh no it turns out Soviet Russia no longer exist |
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IannettaCrook: I just checked Baseball Reference, and apparently I don't either! |
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UltimoDrago: oh well, no one is watching |
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IannettaCrook: hey do you have ten bucks I can borrow for parking? All I've got is a twenty. |
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UltimoDrago: i must break you |
| **Online Host** Welcome to Rockies V: the Colorado Rockies 2010 Chatroom! |
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TimTheEnchanter: /wins NL West |
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TheWitzkiAintWorkin: YO TIMMY |
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TheWitzkiAintWorkin: I didn't hear no bell... |
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TimTheEnchanter: baseball doesn't have bells |
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TheWitzkiAintWorkin: oh |
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TheWitzkiAintWorkin: uh, guess we lost then |
| **Online Host** Welcome to Rockies Balboa: the Colorado Rockies 2011 Chatroom! |
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IannettaCrook: so, uhhh |
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IannettaCrook: I guess we're still doing this whole "baseball team" thing, then? |
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Smeth: yeah |
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IannettaCrook: sigh |
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