The Week in Weird (Breast Milk Ice Cream Edition)

Even with the Middle East in full meltdown mode, there have been plenty of bizarre news stories to fill in the cracks at home and abroad. From a disturbingly familiar ice cream flavor and a couple who don't let litigation hinder their love to the porn Hall of Fame's oldest inductee and a breakout rap star who can literally drop bombs -- we've got it all for you in this week's weird news roundup.

If you think you're on top of all the weird news out there, jump ahead and take the Fark Weird News Quiz. If not, here's a recap:

Surprisingly, it goes well in cones

In London, an ice cream vendor began selling one novelty ice cream Friday, naming the flavor "Baby Gaga" after the deliberately peculiar pop princess. People who try it may notice some familiar flavors in the ice cream, including vanilla from Madagascar, a hint of lemon zest and the comforting taste of human breast milk.

Since dairies that specialize in human breast milk aren't particularly common, the shop's owners are working with individual moms to produce the milk at $1.61 per fluid ounce.

Mothers who produce the milk are screened as closely as blood donors, and the flavor of their milk can vary considerably depending on a number of factors, such as diet. The proprietors say that human breast milk is thinner and sweeter than cow's milk and are treating it as a gourmet delicacy, which explains the much higher price (approximately $22 per serving).

As yet, there hasn't been a comment on the breast milk ice cream from Lady Gaga herself, the reigning queen of publicity photo-ops, who may be waiting for a chance to taste the creamy treat first. Although if her videos are to be believed, she doesn't have an objection to being licked. The unique ice cream is available now, presumably in various cup sizes.

Bye honey, I'm off to see my lawyer. See you in court. I love you.

In Scotland, a woman has taken her former employer to court for breach of her employment contract. Her employer had promised her a salary of 3,000 pounds per month to manage his dental office. When he failed to pay her the agreed-upon wage, she quit and started legal proceedings.

Really, it's so common that it's almost unworthy of inclusion in this list. Just a common dust-up between an employer and a disgruntled employee, right? Well, yes. Except there's one important element to the story.

The two litigants in the matter are happily married to each other.

Yes, despite their litigation against each other, they otherwise are a happily married couple who go live normal lives as husband and wife -- less the bits that they can't share with each other because of attorney-client privilege. The woman insists that not only is there no animosity between the two, her husband actually supported her decision to go to the tribunal.

For his part, the husband denies that the formal offer was ever made, and if it was, it was done in jest (knowing just how much spouses love that kind of joke). Following the recommendation of the arbitrator, the wife has agreed to work for free for a year to prove her value to the dental office. Upon completion, the husband retains the right to hire her at full salary, after which he would take possession of his genitals again.

When most rappers talk about dropping bombs, they aren't being literal

He goes by the nickname M7 and he's the hottest rap star in the country. His lyrical stylings are burning up the airwaves and Yoweri Museveni -- his real name -- says he's pretty sure that after the success of his first single, he'll record a follow-up album.

The only thing that could keep him out of the studio, really, is if he gets too busy with his day job, which is being the president of Uganda.

Talking about rap music at a campaign stop, the Ugandan president told a crowd that he could rhyme, too, and chanted two popular children's rhymes from his birthplace in western Uganda, "Naatema akati" (I cut a stick) and "Mp'enkoni" (Give me the stick). After hearing it, some music producers overlaid his rhythmic rap with hip-hop music and turned the offhand campaign banter into an overnight club hit.

Administration officials in Uganda were pleased with the popularity of the song, but were not so thrilled to see newspapers superimposing Museveni's face over the shirtless, tattooed physique of U.S.-style rap stars.

Although he seems content to remain with the stick-based raps that have been his mainstay, musical advisers are likely to push M7 to explore a harder edge with his next release, which has tentatively been titled, "Give me my stick back now. Seriously, I am in charge of the army and have many weapons and officers at my disposal."

So ... what does YOUR grandfather do?

By the age of 70, most people have slowed down. Many people have retired, opting to spend time focusing on grandchildren or hobbies or just enjoying a peaceful existence away from the frenetic rush of the rat race.

But not everybody is ready to hang up the gloves and leave the ring. For Dave Cummings, his film career now spans 17 years, and he couldn't be happier to still be getting work in front of the camera. He was recently informed that he was about to be honored by the XRCO Hall of Fame for his outstanding body of work in the field. What is the XRCO? It's the X-Rated Critics Association.

Dave Cummings is a porn actor.

Unlike the vast majority of his peers, he didn't start the new career in the prime of his youth. The Vietnam veteran and former West Point instructor didn't even enter the world of porn until he was 54 -- well past the age when many others have typically left the business.

His unusual career change came after the end of a 22-year marriage and an unplanned meeting with adult actress Nina Hartley, but ever since a chance opportunity on a set allowed him to step in front of the camera, he gained a quick reputation for his consistent ability to perform and his disciplined, avuncular manner that put new actresses at ease.

He isn't thinking too far ahead of his 71st birthday next month and will probably just keep performing as long as he's able to continue. How long that will be is unknown, but as a way to spend one's golden years, one thing is for sure:

It beats the hell out of fishing.

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