Seems Michaele Salahi failed to meet the second of these criteria. People reports that the "Real Housewives of Washington, D.C." star has been booted from "Rehab" because she doesn't have an addiction, although she has said she suffers from stress and multiple sclerosis.
In a statement released to the magazine, VH1 said that "Celebrity Rehab" is "intended for individuals with serious substance abuse and addiction issues." Tareq Salahi told TMZ that he is considering a lawsuit against "Rehab" for firing his wife "due to her health condition," although we're not certain what he means by that.
By now you may be wondering why Salahi qualifies as a celebrity in the first place. Let's review her career in the public eye.
1. Model, socialite, lobbyist?
According to her 2002 wedding announcement, Salahi (born Michaele Holt) was "a professional model who has appeared in VOGUE Magazine, InStyle, Modern Bride, Town & Country, Harpers Bazaar, Saks Fifth Avenue, BET TV, MTV, Escada, Chanel, Ralph Lauren/Polo and other print & television." The clip also touted Holt's involvement with various charities and organizations, including the Make-A-Wish Foundation, "breast cancer awareness" and the PGA Association. After her marriage, Salahi sometimes identified herself as a lobbyist.
2. Alleged White House party crasher
In November 2009 the Salahis made national headlines after allegedly sneaking in to a state dinner at the White House, where they mingled with President Barack Obama, Michelle Obama and other dignitaries. Although the Secret Service issued an apology for a security breach and said the couple was not invited to the dinner, the Salahis have not admitted any wrongdoing in the matter.
3. America's Polo Cup owner
The Salahis run something called America's Polo Cup, an event whose back story is murky, to stay the least. They've claimed it's sanctioned by "the National Polo League," which real polo officials say doesn't exist; in December 2009 the state of Virginia began a formal inquiry into the Salahis' business dealings through the America's Polo Cup.
4. Not a former Miss USA, not a cheerleader
In 2005, 2007 and 2009 Salahi performed at Washington Redskins football games with the Redskins alumni cheerleading squad. Only problem? She was never on the Redskins cheerleading squad. A Florida-based polo magazine also says Salahi provided photographs of herself and said she was a "former Miss USA," but pageant officials said there is no record of her holding that title.
5. "Real Housewife"
She really is married to Tareq Salahi, whose family owns the well-known Oasis Winery in Virginia. (Interfamily fighting over the winery's ownership prompted lawsuits.) In 2010 Michaele Salahi joined the cast of "The Real Housewives of Washington, D.C." Her long record of legal and financial woes (alleged contract breaches, charges of failing to pay bills) was not swept aside -- it simply became part of the plot.
In a 2010 interview with Fox News, Michaele Salahi said the reason she often appears thin and frail is because she has battled MS for 17 years. A National MS Society spokesperson told the network, "Weight loss is not a typical symptom of MS. However there are other factors that do influence appetite, like medication, fatigue and difficulty swallowing can affect weight loss, but it is not a typical symptom. Typical symptoms are numbness, tingling, pain and difficulty speaking."
Perhaps VH1 should reconsider its decision, since Michaele Salahi certainly seems to have an attention addiction.
On the other hand, a reality television role might not be the best treatment for that.
Follow Surge Desk on Twitter.