The Week in Weird (Vampire Roommates Edition)

Welcome back to our weekly roundup of the weirdest, most exquisitely bizarre news items of the last seven days. Here before you are some of the strangest stories in circulation. This week's theme is "mismatch" and it stays right on track. We have luxury hotels for chickens, pole dancing for Jesus, vampire roommates and the rare bathroom/sandwich shop combination.

So enjoy the stories this week, and we'll have even weirder ones for you next week.

If you think you're on top of all the weird news out there, jump ahead and take the Fark Weird News Quiz. If not, here's a recap:

A Pillar of Brass Climbing Unto the Heavens

Generally speaking, acceptable church activities stay pretty wholesome. Fellowship centers on meals, gatherings and mild sports events such as softball or volleyball. But if a church is made up of all kinds, you're likely to find some who don't quite fit in a conventional mode.

That's the case for former exotic dancer Crystal Deans, who has decided to take her experience in pole dancing and teach it as a fitness routine to members of her church in what has been dubbed "Pole Fitness for Jesus."

Modeled as an empowering fitness class, the former pole dancer teaches women the strength-building exercise to contemporary Christian music. "I don't teach women to be strippers," Deans said, insisting that the focus is not on the erotic, exotic aspects of the dance, but rather the camaraderie and exercise.

And if the women get fit and show off their new moves, the men in their lives may be having a religious experience of their own.

Why You Should Avoid Roommates With Fangs

If you've ever had to live with a roommate, you know how difficult it can be to find the right one. A person who gives you space but doesn't ignore you, gets your sense of humor, enjoys similar music and has a compatible sleep schedule. And actually pays the bills on time. OK, maybe it's a tall order.

But 25-year-old Robert Maley discovered just how bad things can go after an argument resulted in his roommate stabbing him. Why did his roommate stab him? Well, Maley refused to allow his roommate to drink his blood again.

Yes, again. Apparently, there was at least one previous instance where Maley did allow his roommate to talk him into playing "vampire stuff," which included letting him suck Maley's blood for a few minutes. Maley indicated that he allowed it because his roommate threatened Maley's ex-girlfriend.

Notwithstanding how that original conversation must have gone, when Maley refused to let it happen again, the roommate lost his temper and got all stabby, drawing blood in a more conventional manner. Police responded, and the roommate pleaded guilty, receiving a sentence of three years' probation and presumably no more vampire play games for the foreseeable future.

And you thought your first roommate sucked.

For the Discriminating Landfowl

In our current economic climate, there are a lot of people switching careers or trying to carve out a niche in a new industry. For one man, he's not just looking at a new industry, he's creating one.

In Helston, a town in the southern UK, David Roberts has opened a hotel catering to an upscale clientele who demand the very best professional service.

But the hotel isn't for humans. It's for chickens.

Seeing an increase in popularity of nonfarmers raising their own hens, Roberts realized that nonfarmers traveled more often and would need a place to keep their pampered poultry when they left town.

So he built a place for the chickens to roam freely while their owners were away, constructing outdoor grounds that were safe and foxproof, and opulent coops for the chickens at night where the hens can dream of -- well, whatever hens dream about.

His chicken hotel service also includes pickup and delivery of the twitchy landfowl, and he's already booked solid through the end of the year.

Cluck all you want, but that's some serious scratch.

Does This Pastrami Smell Funny to You?

In real estate, as the old saying goes, the most important three things are location, location, location. Some families look for homes near good schools and restaurants, while others seek a place closer to their office and downtown. For a business, the right location often means the difference between success and a grinding existence to stay afloat.

On Wednesday, city officials in Boston announced that a stone structure from the 1920s that sat unused for decades would finally get some use with their approval to convert the structure on Boston Common.

Then again, some people might be put off. The newly permitted sandwich shop used to be a public restroom.

While some might not want to go where people used to go, the city maintains that the agreement will preserve the historical building and give park visitors something to enjoy. Since it hasn't been used as a restroom in so long, it might not face the stigma or jokes a more recently decommissioned loo might face.

Just don't get too clever with the sandwich names. It's one time a theme would work against you.

So you think you know weird news? Take the Fark Weird News Quiz.

Make your life more weird! Follow AOL Weird News on Facebook and Twitter.