The Week in Weird (Penis Museum Edition)

Welcome to our weekly roundup of the strangest, weirdest and most exquisitely bizarre news items of the last seven days. After scouring hundreds of oddities, we found a few that really rise to the top -- or sink to the bottom, as the case may be.

With the exception of a story about dogs with fake IDs, all the rest of the stories seem to be sexual things, from kinky taxes to one man who donated his penis to a museum, and another who was less humanitarian with his own (to the dismay of his female patients).

So enjoy the stories and we'll have even more for you next week. Behold the power of weird.

If you think you're on top of all the weird news out there, jump ahead and take the Fark Weird News Quiz. If not, here's a recap.

Membership Has Its Privileges

In the sleepy Icelandic fishing town of Husavik is a small, unassuming building reminiscent of a remote train station from the 1800s. Despite its plain exterior, the humble building is actually a museum, home to an impressive collection within its quiet walls.

On the inside, no matter where you look you'll find penises.

The little structure houses the Iceland Phallological Museum, a cocky cornucopia of male genitalia from virtually every land and sea mammal in Iceland, from polar bears to seals to whales.

Although it's been open for 15 years, the curator of the collection has one item that's been particularly elusive to obtain: a human specimen. But a donor named Pall Arason donated his educational tool to the museum in an impressive show of support for the sciences.

Before you cringe, it's important to understand that the generous endowment was a postmortem gift from Arason, who no longer had a use for the old junk or a reason to keep it hanging around any longer.

The Phallological Museum's overall collection had already swelled to an impressive 208 members, but the human specimen rounds out the collection nicely.

It's good to be an organ donor.

Thank You, Mistress, May I Have Another (Deduction)?

When you are preparing your taxes, you probably look for conventional deductions: education expenses, small-business deductions and charitable donations.

For Lori St. Kitts, also known as "Lori the Tax Domme," clients ask about deductions involving whips, handcuffs and other tools of the sex industry, including breast implants.

Once a performer herself, St. Kitts' background in the phone sex industry and tax accounting made her a favorite of trade workers who were uncomfortable explaining details of their work to dubious and occasionally judgmental tax preparers.

For phone sex workers, things that are used in the process of work can include lollipops, whoopee cushions and even yogurt, which makes a gratifyingly wet, squishy sound.

St. Kitts has also given educational talks at IRS forums to have an open dialogue and represent the sex industry. Despite the occasional blushing or smirks, the back-and-forth with real tax agents is both informative and crucial to helping her client base.

It's the one time when neither side wants to deal with firm punishments.

The Growing Scourge of Four-Legged Impostors

It's finally come to this.

Animal owners who don't want to leave their pets at home are opting for a new trick to allow them to bring their animals wherever they go. Airplanes, restaurants and other venues are being forced to let these animals in because of a legal distinction that makes them not officially pets.

The animal owners are claiming that they're service animals.

By applying for legitimate state paperwork, pet owners in places like Florida are exploiting a loophole that allows them to take pets -- untrained as service animals -- into places that would otherwise bar the animals' entry.

Naturally, actual disabled people with real service animals are upset, as these animals have not been trained to ignore the stimulation of being in crowded places with constant distractions. And bad behavior by pets masquerading as service animals casts doubt on real service animals and their disabled companions.

Rather than getting an animal that's been trained at an accredited training academy, owners can obtain certification documents for as little as $20 from questionable online sources and receive paperwork and identification for legitimate service animals.

Service animal trainers are hoping that better regulation can close the loopholes so that disabled people who actually need service animals don't bear the brunt of reduced access because of dishonest owners with poorly behaved animals.

And you thought you'd never see the day when a dog used a fake ID to get into a bar.

Orgasms: The Best Medicine?

Generally, when you go to a doctor with a medical condition, you expect to get some sound medical advice and a bit of insight. Patients of a weight-loss doctor in Pennsylvania got a bit more then they bargained for when the doctor allegedly made a suggestion about how they could lose weight quickly.

His solution was simple: The doctor said that he would have sex with them, and each orgasm they had would burn roughly 200 calories, according to police. It's safe to say his female patients weren't entirely thrilled with the diagnosis.

Unsurprisingly, the suspicious patients informed the authorities, who arrested and the doctor on several charges, including aggravated indecent assault and indecent assault.

If the doctor is released from jail with noticeable weight loss, it just might be the proof he wasn't looking for.


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