Bird Brains Compete for 'Turkey of the Year'

Just how did the turkey -- a bird native to North America -- become synonymous with thoughtless, annoying people, so often overstuffed with jive?

Let's face it, some of our nominees for 2009 Turkey of the Year wouldn't be welcome at any Thanksgiving dinner. So, with no further ado, let's look at some of the year's most fowl personalities.

Roguishly Raw: That ring you hear when your 15 minutes of fame are up must be a call from someone asking you to pose nude. Levi Johnston's offer came from Playgirl, and he promised the pictorial would be "tasteful." We now know that Johnston's Johnson will be strategically hidden behind a hockey stick, among other items. Let's just call that a strange tribute to hockey moms everywhere. Still, the baby daddy of Sarah Palin's grandson will one day have to explain this maverick move to his child.

Short on Facts: Most everyone can remember where they were when the Berlin Wall fell, but not Nicolas Sarkozy. The media-friendly French president has taken some ribbing for claiming on Facebook that he was at Checkpoint Charlie on Nov. 9, 1989, and put a pickax to the reviled symbol of Soviet suppression. As it turns out, the picture had been taken after the Berlin Wall fell. Sarkozy has since been mocked in manipulated images depicting him storming the Bastille, strumming guitar with the Beatles and signing the Yalta peace treaty.

Loudmouth Lawmakers: Just because you're loud doesn't mean you're right. Republican Rep. Joe Wilson (right) of South Carolina interrupted President Barack Obama during a speech, shouting out, "You lie!" Not long after, Florida Democratic Rep. Alan Grayson (left) accused the GOP of wanting sick Americans to "die quickly." Is health care this country's most dire domestic issue, or is it civil decency?

Balloonatics: It's a safe bet that the world hasn't heard the last from Richard and Mayumi Heene, the couple who admitted fabricating the story about their son being trapped on a runaway, saucer-shaped helium balloon. After pleading guilty, the couple asked the judge to be allowed to travel to New York and California to explore "employment opportunities." In Heene-speak, that probably means a reality TV show. Don't expect any announcement before their sentencing, set for Dec. 23.

Tiara-ble Tantrums: Unlike Levi Johnston, some people don't wait until they're famous to strip. Carrie Prejean's wild ride began at the Miss USA 2009 contest, when she said marriage should be between a man and woman, or "opposite marriage." She claimed to be unfairly persecuted for her traditional views. Then came the topless photos, a bizarre appearance on "Larry King Live" and news that she filmed at least one sex tape. But these days, doesn't everyone in Hollywood -- even Dustin "Screech" Diamond -- have a sex tape?

Promise Breakers: Even for lovers of the great outdoors, it will be hard to say the words "hiking the Appalachian Trail" with a straight face after South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford (left) lied to his staff and reporters, slipped off to see his Argentine girlfriend and returned to face one of the year's biggest media firestorms. Amid ongoing calls to resign, Sanford has stayed in office, though his wife and children have moved out of the governor's mansion.

If nothing else, the event was a boon for late-night comics. David Letterman (right), of course, had to take a break when an affair from his past with a junior staffer came back to haunt him.

Reality Parenthood: When the general public first got wind of Nadya "Octomom" Suleman (right), was there any doubt that she and her 14-kid circus would soon become reality stars? "I made these choices out of the midst of being in survivor mode," she told The New York Times, explaining away her two-hour Fox TV special and her reality show on British TV. "I think 99 percent of people would have made the same decision." In the same article, Suleman denied having had plastic surgery to resemble Angelina Jolie.

In other reality news, Jon Gosselin (left) filed a $5 million lawsuit against TLC, the network that airs "Kate Plus Eight," not for removing his name from the show he once shared with his wife, Kate (center), but for damaging his reputation. Joel McHale of "The Soup" compared that to Hitler suing the History Channel for slander.

Bad Sports: Serena Williams (center) essentially cursed her way out of the U.S. Open, telling a lineswoman, "I swear to God, I'm f---ing going to take this f---ing ball and shove it down your f---ing throat." She eventually apologized and is still the No. 1 ranked female tennis player. But you can't watch a highlight film without being reminded of this monumental meltdown.

Tennessee Titans owner Bud Adams (right) made his own bid for Sportsman of the Year by raising his middle fingers at Buffalo Bills fans -- and it was clearly not an attempt to say, "We're No. 1."

But this year's worst sport might be Kanye West (left), who interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards to proclaim his love for Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)." How about putting a cork in it? West was asked to leave. And, unlike his outburst after Hurricane Katrina, he couldn't blame anything on George W. Bush.

Memorable Mugs: What is the Internet if not an ongoing source for amusing mug shots? We've still got a few more weeks, but this year's bumper crop includes the DUI arrest of a guy dressed as a Breathalyzer for Halloween.

Of course, if you're the type who prefers do-it-yourself costumes, two 20-somethings from Iowa posed for mug shots with marker ink smeared all over their faces. Police say these alleged burglars drew masks on their faces. Now, they must deal with stains on their permanent record.