Vote for 2009's Top 10 'Fugliest' Fashions

(Nov. 30) -- Ladies, if you're dating a man obsessed with alien abduction, we have just the thing for an extra-close encounter of the third kind: crop-circle leggings.Yes, once you slip on sheer mesh sequin-stitched nylons, that ET-lover in your life won't be phoning home, and you might be feeling like Venus.

Of course, your other option is to stop dating geeks.

Crop-circle leggings -- a $112 oddity -- are among the more curious nominees on Viva Swag's Top 10 Fugliest Fashions, along with earrings made from human hair (hairrings) and quite possibly the word's droopiest drawers.

"We say 'fugly' because we just don't know what else to call this stuff," says Clarissa Jacobson, Viva Swag's creative director. "We thought we'd put the best of the worst together for the year's ultimate freak fashion show. It's a great way to cap off the year."

Here are a few that caught my eye:

Cat-Fight Ripped Denim in Black -- If you ever want to look like you were standing between Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson during one of their legendary blowouts, this outfit will give you that torn-to-shreds, ravaged-by-a-jungle-feline look.

Let's hope that the pockets on these jeans aren't ripped also. But if you're throwing away $78 on these pants, what's the difference?

If you are a genuine trend-setter and the paparazzi catch you in these ragged rags, just tell them you have many fans, and you stood too close to one of them.


Women's Killin It Earrings -- Warning: The surgeon general has determined that wearing cigarette-shaped earrings may be hazardous to your social life. 80s Purple tried to turn faux cancer sticks into jewelry, figuring that this look was so incredibly ridiculous that it might catch on.

The good news is you can't get emphysema by hanging wax facsimile Marlboros from your lobes. But your friends may be left gasping. And you'll be out $30.


The Gerda Oversized Top -- If you're planning to enroll in clown college, this massive V-neck could be your own personal big top. The giant striped bow outlined on the front screams "bow-dacious" -- and "bozo."

Viva Swag is urging people to vote for the fashions they love to hate the most. If you do, I humbly suggest you consider the snake-skull jeans and Barbie clone leggings. Couture like this doesn't come around too often.

"We're trying to make online shopping something you do among friends," says Jacobson. "When you're online shopping, you need someone to say, 'Get a load of that! Isn't that tacky!' And that's one reason we're here."

Viva Swag went live just three months ago, and it aims to merge social media with online shopping. Every other Thursday, the site hosts shopping parties on Twitter, where you can collectively comb the Net for the best and worst in bad fashion.


One big advantage to online shopping en masse: If you happen to be wearing the same cigarette earrings someone else is making fun of, nobody will see you cry.