Clothes Encounters of the Dumb Kind

(Aug. 28) -- The description of what a suspect is wearing can be crucial for police in solving a crime. Clothing -- or the lack of it -- is key to several of the cases in this week's review of stupidity in the first degree.

For cops investigating a home burglary in Sacramento, Calif., it was "case clothed" when the victim spotted a woman wearing the evidence.

Tammy Brown didn't even have to go looking for clues. She came home Monday to find the place had been ransacked -- and neighbors had already called police because a suspicious woman rolling a dolly was there. Brown says Kathleen Lawson walked right up to her and asked about her dryer.

"How do you know there is a dryer?" Brown asked. "You are wearing my clothes."

Police moved in and arrested Lawson, 36, on burglary and drug charges. They found the rest of Brown's stolen property in two nearby homes and charged Jesus Hernandez, 30, and Felicia McCoy, 22, with burglary.

"She told me I have good taste in clothes," Brown said. "I think these are desperate, low-life, really stupid people." Read More

The lesson for would-be thieves here is not that the less you wear, the harder you'll be to identify.

Daimien Tran was carrying a toolbox and wearing only a Speedo-style swimsuit when officers noticed him on an East Hartford, Conn., street Aug. 20. A police dog tracked him down and bit him on the leg as Tran hid behind a car, cops said.

The toolbox had been taken from a truck and police said Tran, 18, tried to steal several vehicles.

The suspect allegedly told police he'd been drinking heavily and smoking marijuana. Read More

Why bother with even a Speedo if what you're going for is a display of sheer, naked aggression?

Sgt. Christopher Bell was responding to a disturbance call in Umatilla, Fla., late on the night of Aug. 20 when a nude man jumped out of the bushes and onto his patrol car. Bell watched him bang on the hood with his fists, jump off, then punch out one of the headlights.

A cops-vs.-naked guy brawl followed and police said it took Tasers, pepper spray and blows from a flashlight to finally subdue the 150-pound suspect.

"He didn't feel any pain," Police Chief Doug Foster said.

Joseph Stephen Carroll, 27, was charged with disorderly conduct, resisting an officer, battery on an officer and criminal mischief. Read More

A momentary wardrobe malfunction was involved here, too. But mostly alcohol.

Pembroke, Mass., police got a call just after midnight Monday from a driver who said she was watching another motorist swerving and driving erratically. Officers were dispatched.

Meanwhile, both drivers continued down the road for several minutes until coming to a stop light. That's when, according to police, Scott Smith got out of his car and dropped his pants. He mooned the woman who had called the cops and yelled at her -- then got back in the car and took off, Police Chief Michael Ohrenberger said.

Officers said they spotted Smith weaving in and out of lanes and pulled him over.

Smith, 48, was charged with second-offense drunken driving and indecent exposure. Read More

A drunken driving suspect in Texas seemed bent on staging his own demolition derby.

Emilio Fernandez, 18, of Keller, Texas, was charged with driving while intoxicated and three counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after the incident in Grapevine Aug. 16.

Fernandez was driving his pickup truck the wrong way on a service road in the middle of the night when he U-turn and drove into a car, police allege. Then he ran into a second car on the road, pulled into a parking lot and broadsided a third car, smashing the driver's door and window, they said.

Amazingly, nobody was injured -- except for Fernandez.

Once he realized his truck was DOA, cops said, the DWI suspect got out, punched himself in the face and sat down. A security guard held him until police arrived to arrest him. Read More

More than 20,000 of you cast votes in last week's poll and Alonzo Rucker was the overwhelming favorite. Thirty-four percent of you named him the dumbest criminal suspect. Rucker, 18, allegedly tried to rob a Janesville, Wis., bar full of cops. Security video showed him bursting into the place Aug. 9 with a bandanna over his face and his hand in his pants, as if he had a gun. He was immediately subdued by a few of the many officers who were in town for a police golf tournament. Rucker insisted he wasn't trying to rob anyone and was just wearing the mask because he didn't want to be recognized. He was charged with disorderly conduct and parole violations.