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The Dugout: Hazing Is Normal

Sometime around middle school, I abandoned my love of playing sports for a love of art. The art community has depression, suicide, and people using the bathroom on the Holy Cross and hanging it up in a museum. And yet, somehow, I thought that was less weird than the towel-snapping, balls-jockey nonsense that happens when...

The Dugout: Angry Player Dog Park

Confrontations in the clubhouse are starting to become the norm. If you have a problem, don't try to handle it constructively! Storm into the dugout, scream at your peers, and destroy some property. I would suggest knocking over a rack of bats and kicking a metal fan. If you can get out of it without injuring yourself,...

The Dugout: An Ache in Every Stake

I went to the Nationals/Mets game on Wednesday and watched Nyjer Morgan botch a defensive play that allowed an inside-the-park home run. I thought to myself, "Wow, that's something I'll probably never seen again." Then I went to Saturday's game against the Orioles and watched him do it again. Add that to the ongoing male...

Beware the Dugouts of March: The Florida Marlins' 2009 Preview

I agree with Hanley Ramirez: I hate haircuts. They never turn out looking like I want them to. I tell the barber that I want to look like Mark Paul Gosselaar circa the fifth season of Saved by the Bell (the one with Tori, where it looked like he had yellow toothpaste on his head) and I end up looking like Captain Kangaroo....

Spring Dugz: Florida Marlins

Your official The Dugout Guide to This Year in the National League East: The Mets will win a lot of games. The Phillies will win a lot of games. The friggin Florida Marlins will win the division with nothing but Luis Gonzalez and a big snapping trading card binder with pictures of actual professional baseball...